Still Needed

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Yesterday was a stress-filled day. Our first day of school...why is it that first days are so hard? We were all anxious for school to begin, so why is it that it never lives up to our expectations? Faith was so poky yesterday I thought she would be in fourth grade before she finished writing a page of words and definitions. But no one cried...that was good. That was a first I think. (I wish I could say the same for today.)

But, all day my heart was heavy with Geoff moving out. He was only home a week between apartments, but I so loved waking up in the morning and having everyone under one roof. No one to worry about because they are all there, under my wings. Because of Geoff's work schedule we planned to drive his few pieces of furniture to his apartment after dinner. He is just 20 minutes away on campus, so I knew we could do it. Doug was impatient, however, and anxious for some reason. We argued before we left -- Geoff felt his impatience and I'm sure interpreted it wrongly. I'm always the one buffering the hurt feelings in our home. That's why mothers are made "cushy," I'm certain -- we are the shock absorbers of the family, reducing the friction between the ones we love.

After we left him at his apartment, small, but at least clean, and in a slightly less scary neighborhood than last year, I drove home alone, since we had needed two vehicles. My heart was still heavy. Feeling completely unneeded, unnecessary, and even a little unwanted, I was on the verge of tears when my cell phone rang. The call was from home where Faith had stayed with Joshua.

"Hi mommy," she said in her sweet, little girl voice. "Hi, sweetie," I said, "what's up?"

"Mommy, what is that black phone for?" she asked.

"Do you mean in the laundry room, sweetie?" I replied.

"Yes. Why is the black phone in there?" she asked again.

"Well, that's the phone grandpa put in for me," I replied.

"You mean because the phone always rings when you're washing clothes?" she asked.

"Yup, that's right," I said.

"Is it only for emergencies?" she asked.

"No," I said, "It's for whenever I'm in the laundry room."

"Oh. Can I call you right back?" she asked. "Sure," I said, laughing to myself.

A minute later the phone rang. "Hi, mommy. I did it. I dialed the new phone," she said, excited.

"Do you mean you're standing right by the washing machine?" "Yes," she said. "I could reach."

"That's awesome, sweetie. I'll see you in a few minutes when I get home," I said.

"O.k. Bye, mommy. I love you."

I have never questioned God for giving me the family that He did -- four children spaced from ages 21 to 8. I always knew God was smarter than I, and while it was not the family I ever thought I'd have, it was what God knew that I needed. Yesterday evening I was ever so glad for His wisdom.

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How inscrutable are his judgments and how unsearchable his ways! Romans 11:33

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A Parent's Prayer

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Today is our first day of school at home. I have many prayers in my heart, many goals which I know that I need Divine aid to meet, but I found this prayer which really hits the most important things I feel I need to practice. I think that if God helps me with all of these things, the rest will be a piece of cake.

"Oh God, make me a better parent. Help me to understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say and to understand all their questions kindly. Keep me from interrupting them, talking back to them and contradicting them. Make me as courteous to them as I would have them be to me. Give me the courage to confess my sins against my children and ask forgiveness, when I know I have done wrong.

May I not vainly hurt the feelings of my children. Forbid that I should laugh at their mistakes, or resort to shame and ridicule as punishment. So guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate by all I say and do that honesty produce happiness.

Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me, May I cease to nag; and when I am out of sorts, help me, O Lord, to hold my tongue. Blind me to the little errors of my children and help me to see the good things that they do. Give me a ready word of honest praise.

Help me to treat my children as those of their own age, but let me not exact of them the judgments and conventions of adults. Allow me not to rob them of opportunity to wait upon themselves, to think, to choose, and to make their own decisions.

Forbid that I should ever punish them for my selfish satisfaction. May I grant them all their wishes that are reasonable and have the courage always to withhold a privilege which I know will do them harm.

Make me so fair and just, so considerate and companionable to my children that they will have genuine esteem for me. Fit me to be loved and imitated by my children. Oh God, do give me calm and poise and self-control."

-- Garry C. Myers

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St. Augustine, pray for us

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"Such things was I speaking, and even if not in this very manner, and these same words, yet Lord, Thou knowest that in that day when we were speaking of these things, and this world with all its delights became, as we spake, contemptible to us, my mother said, "Son, for mine own part I have no further delight in any thing in this life. What I do here any longer, and to what end I am here, I know not, now that my hopes in this world are accomplished. One thing there was for which I desired to linger for a while in this life, that I might see thee a Catholic Christian before I died. My God hath done this for me more abundantly, that I should now see thee withal, despising earthly happiness, become His servant: what do I here?"

What answer I made her unto these things, I remember not. For scarce five days after, or not much more, she fell sick of a fever; and in that sickness one day she fell into a swoon, and was for a while withdrawn from these visible things. We hastened round her; but she was soon brought back to her senses; and looking on me and my brother standing by her, said to us enquiringly, "Where was I?" And then looking fixedly on us, with grief amazed: "Here," saith she, "shall you bury your mother." I held my peace and refrained weeping; but my brother spake something, wishing, for her, as the happier lot, that she might die, not in a strange place, but in her own land. Whereat, she with anxious look, checking him with her eyes, for that he still savoured such things, and then looking upon me: "Behold," saith she, "what he saith:" and soon after to us both, "Lay," she saith, "this body any where; let not the care for that any way disquiet you: this only I request, that you would remember me at the Lord's altar, wherever you be." And having delivered this sentiment in what words she could she held her peace, being exercised by her growing sickness.-- St. Augustine, The Confessions of St. Augustine

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In my mind, St. Augustine and his mother are inseparable. Where would he be without his mother, I often wonder? Where would any of us be without our mothers, you might wonder? Obviously, basic biology requires that we have a mother. But in my mind, St. Augustine's success, if you might call it that, was completely dependent upon his mother (of course, that's a mother's perspective and not a son's). It was she who prayed him to a relationship with God. It was she who cried and pleaded with her God for her son to turn his life around and seek holiness; it was she who followed her son around and nagged at him to live a life with God at its center.

When I speak to God about my children, I often feel just like St. Monica. I would lay down and die -- be done with this world -- if I thought my children were so fully in communion with God that they no longer needed my mediation. As my children grow older, and become more of their own world and less of my world, I see that my work as a Christian mother has, in some ways, just begun. These are the years in which I will wear out my knees, pleading with my God to keep them close. St. Augustine, pray for all mothers who seek to bring their children to Our Father. St. Monica, pray for the children whose mothers cry for them to Our Heavenly Father.

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O God, Who observed the devout tears and pleading of St. Monica and granted to her prayers the conversion of her husband and the penitential return of her son, Augustine, grant us the grace to implore Thee also with earnest zeal, so that we may obtain, as she did, the salvation of our own soul and the souls of those belonging to us. Through Christ Our Lord. Amen.

And from a very lovely reader, this beautiful prayer by St. Augustine, which I will take to my bedside this evening:

Keep watch, Oh Lord,
with those who wake,
or watch or weep tonight, and give your angels charge over those who sleep.

Tend the sick, Oh Lord Jesus Christ; rest your weary ones;
bless your dying ones;
soothe your suffering ones;
pity your afflicted ones;
shield your joyous ones;
and all for your love's sake.
Amen.

Sincerity

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This morning's Divine Intimacy meditation spoke to me on a subject I thought I was o.k. with: sincerity. I consider myself to be a pretty sincere person. In fact, I can be honest to a fault. I can be critical of myself as well as others, and what is criticism other than sincerity that really should remain unspoken, or at the very least turned into something constructive? When I read the meditation each day I normally find that those virtues I need help most with are those that call out to me. But sincerity, I thought I had down. Maybe I don't.

God is truth, and no one can be admitted to His intimacy who does not strive as much as he can, to live in truth and to be sincere in all his actions. First of all, we must seek to possess truth in the depths of our heart, that we may know ourselves as we really are in the eyes of God, stripped of all disguises and artificiality. To do this we must accept, not only the truths which please us, but also those which are painful and wound our pride to the quick, revealing our faults and evil tendencies. A person who is sincere never closes his eyes to these truths, but values them, even if they are humiliating, knowing that humiliation which reveals the truth is worth more than illusion which flatters pride and keeps us in error. Sometimes God permits difficult circumstances which are especially hard and trying for the practice of virtue, that we may see the truth and know ourselves as we really are. Under the onset of contradiction, we experience movements, hitherto unknown, surging up within us: movements of anger, rebellion, selfishness, from which perhaps we had had the illusion that we were free. In such cases, instead of turning our gaze away, it is necessary to have the courage to recognize these faults and confess them, humbly and frankly. St John of the Cross speaks of certain pious souls who, in confession, "palliate [their sins] and make them appear less evil, and thus … excuse themselves rather than accuse themselves" (cf. Dark Night of the Soul I, 2, 4). A soul that loves the truth is very far from acting in this way; even if it has only venial sins and imperfections of which to accuse itself in confession, it exposes them all very sincerely, without magnifying or minimizing them, never blaming circumstances, but only itself for all that is faulty. Sincerity in confessing our faults is the first step toward freeing ourselves from them.

Yesterday, Doug and I had some banking business which required us to sit in the bank for a while. In fact, due to a bank error in the papers we needed to sign, we sat there for over an hour. While a somewhat painful wait, it was an opportunity to people watch, which I always enjoy. There was one woman at the bank, I noticed as we waited as she was also waiting to take care of some business. She looked as though she was of modest means. She was older, dressed "simply," not made up or particularly groomed. She seemed nice, she smiled at Faith, she was pleasant with the employee who worked with her (see how nosy I am?), and after she left the bank I did not think of her for a moment until I sat down and read about sincerity this morning. She was, to me, the picture of sincerity. She held herself with a dignity that, though she seemed of simple means, revealed an inner sincerity. She seemed very much at home in her simple shell. And as I sat and pondered, I realized that many people of simple means seem very much at home inside their shell, and very sincere in who they are. There is no false perception they are trying to pull off, unlike many who are trying to project an image of who they want to be.

A soul can be insincere in its interior life and its relations with god, but it can never deceive Him, and its lack of sincerity will only redound to its own disadvantage. But with respect to our neighbors it is not so; a want of sincerity can easily harm them, or at least deceive them. Hence, not only charity, but also justice demands that we conduct ourselves with the greatest sincerity in our relations with our neighbor.

To be sincere, our words must, first of all, correspond to our thoughts. To be convinced of one thing and to affirm another, with the intention of deceiving someone, is directly contrary to the truth and, therefore, an offense against God, who is infinite Truth. Such an act is absolutely inadmissible in any soul, and especially in one who aspires to union with God: How can falsehood hope to be united to Supreme Truth? And yet under a more subtle form certain deficiencies in sincerity are not wholly absent from the conduct of devout souls — little subterfuges, words spoken in such a way that they ward off a just rebuke, conceal a mistake which one does not wish to admit, or even attract a little praise or admiration … and all this through vanity or human respect, in order to avoid humiliation or suffering. These are mean ways of acting, unworthy of a sincere, noble spirit.

I see now how sincerity is not just about what we say, but who we are. Are we sincere within ourselves? Are we honest about who we are in how we act, even when we don't interact with others at all? Being honest within ourselves is the first step toward being honest with others. If we deceive ourselves internally, we can never be sincere externally.

It is not sufficient to be sincere in our words; we must also be sincere in our actions and conduct. Sincere conduct is that which makes us appear just as we are, with no affectation, and no desire to appear to be what we are not. Our words and actions should express the truth which has been sough and loved interiorly. Sincerity does not require us to reveal all that we think or know to everyone; this would be contrary to prudence and to other virtues. It does, however, demand that everything we do reveal, by word or act, or even by silence, corresponds to truth.

"O Lord, if I wish to reach You, who are the Way, the Truth and the Life, I must travel the road of truth, without any pretense or dissimulation, renouncing reason that has been darkened with self-love and human respect. I must act with simplicity, wholly dying to myself and to creatures. Teach me, O eternal Truth, how to act sincerely and frankly. Let my soul, simple as a dove, fly to You to build its nest in Your heart, and nourish itself with the knowledge of You and of itself; thus despising its own malice, it will find nothing in itself to satisfy it, and therefore, it will be unable to stay far away from You, not finding where to repose outside of You. Teach me to walk in the straight path of truth without stopping, but always advancing hurrying and running swiftly, in order to follow You, eternal Truth, my guide and my way." (St Mary Magdalen dei Pazzi)

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Daybook...school days version

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Outside my window...cool 64 degrees and cloudy. We are expecting thunderstorms today and I'm doing my rain dance. Yeah thunderstorms.

I am thinking...about my children growing up. Joshua just left for his first day of his senior year of high school. On Monday, Noah will start eighth grade -- his last year at home. My Faith and I will be on our own after that, and I have no idea how to feel about all of it. I should be happy that they are growing and spreading their wings, but really I want to tuck them back under my wing and tell them to stay.

I am thankful for...other women who understand just how it feels to really not want them to grow up at all.

From the learning rooms...Noah's books arrived and I have his lessons to plan. Faith's are all ready to go on Monday. For those of you who are looking for a new way to keep track of lessons and grades, I highly recommend Homeschool Skedtrack. Sara pointed the way for me and even though I have not yet used it for daily work, I love planning on it. The video tutorials (with my Russian friend -- Nadia, I call her) teach you everything you need to know and I'm excited about using it.

From the kitchen...an end of summer/first day of school treat: Marinated Chicken Legs, Corn Tomato and Avocado Salad, bread and Cookie Bars.

I am wearing...a white cotton nightgown, pink robe, and blue slippers -- not ready to greet the day yet.

I am creating...several St. Michael chaplets. Three people recently contacted me about creating St. Michael Chaplets, and I am always amazed at how that happens.

I am reading...not much. I am still working on Home: a memoir of my early years by Julie Andrews, but I'm not certain I'm going to make it to the end by the time it's due back tot he library. I just don't have much time, or interest, right now, although her life was very interesting and far different from what I expected.

I am hoping...for a happy day. I'm keeping my wishes simple these days.

I am hearing...the dog snoring beside me, and the fish tank bubbling. The air is on, too, even though it is cool, it is too humid for me, and I needed good sleep last night after several rough nights with the windows open and the temps not quite cool enough for good sleep.

Around the house...just regular chores -- it feels so good to say that. No diy projects right now, just regular upkeep which seems so simple compared to months of trying to do upkeep and diy projects.

One of my favorite things...almost autumn. I can almost feel autumn qualities to the cooler air. It was dark last night at 8:30. I love the anticipation.

A few plans for the rest of the week...getting back into school mode, to bed early, ready to rise early. Geoff is coming home today for one week. His lease on his apartment ends today, but the new lease does not begin until September 1, which seems to be the norm at the university. This is the craziest thing I have ever heard and no one I have asked understands it, so I guess I'm not crazy. Geoff is fortunate he lives 20 minutes from campus and he can move everything home. What do kids do who live in Texas or California or abroad? You can't live out of a moving truck for a week? I just don't undertsand....

A picture thought...first day of senior year:

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St. Rose, pray for us

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Our Lord and Savior lifted up his voice and said with incomparable majesty: "Let all men know that grace comes after tribulation. Let them know that without the burden of afflictions it is impossible to reach the height of grace. Let them know that the gifts of grace increase as the struggles increase. Let men take care not to stray and be deceived. This is the only true stairway to paradise, and without the cross they can find no road to climb to heaven."

When I heard these words, a strong force came upon me and seemed to place me in the middle of a street, so that I might say in a loud voice to people of every age, sex and status: "Hear, O people; hear, O nations. I am warning you about the commandment of Christ by using words that came from his own lips: We cannot obtain grace unless we suffer afflictions. We must heap trouble upon trouble to attain a deep participation in the divine nature, the glory of the sons of God and perfect happiness of soul."

"If only mortals would learn how great it is to possess divine grace, how beautiful, how noble, how precious. How many riches it hides within itself, how many joys and delights! No one would complain about his cross or about troubles that may happen to him, if he would come to know the scales on which they are weighed when they are distributed to men." --from the writings of Saint Rose of Lima

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Movie Review: The Young Victoria

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Doug was off golfing with old pals all day, so after I finished my to-do list this afternoon, I grabbed some crochet work and popped in The Young Victoria. After I finished watching, I truly could have started it over and watched again, and may do so yet tonight. It is the beautiful love story of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert -- filmed in the fashion of a Jane Austen story (in fact, you would know the actor who plays Prince Albert as the man who played the evil Mr. Wickham in the most recent version of Pride and Prejudice).

Though much of the movie is historical in nature (and I have no idea if it is accurate), I didn't try to grasp too many of the details regarding the line of succession to the throne, instead focusing on the beauty of their romance and marriage.


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Burning the midnight oil

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I'm there, in the chair. You can't see me there right now, but I'm there in spirit and in thought even if I'm off running to put a load of laundry in. I imagine you're there too, whether it's your dining room or kitchen table, a desk in some other corner of the house. Planning the school year...hoping to light a fire.


You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid. Nor do men light a lamp and put it under a bushel, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)




I'm sharing with you one of my favorite tools of this school year. This planner. I've tried different methods, but my students like their plans hand written, by their mother. There is a larger teacher version of this planner, which I like as well, but I am using the student planner for each child.


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Diligence

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From today's Divine Intimacy, "Diligence." Especially for those who are (ironically) discerning time spent at the computer. Bolded emphasis is mine.



"Diligence"

"Diligence is the application of the soul in the prompt performance of good works. It makes man like the angels who fly with wonderful speed to fulfill God's commands" (Ven. John of Jesus Mary). Promptness in doing good works is a special characteristic of diligence.

A negligent person goes to his work unwillingly, slowly, and with needless delay, whereas the diligent man hastens to it cheerfully, with promptness and concern. The prompt doing of a thing that should be done, even when it would be more convenient to do something else, is the fruit of diligence. Above all, one who is bound to a definite rule of life, either privately or in a community, must observe it punctually and exactly. In fact, any rule which has been approved by one who represents God, is, for the soul who is bound to it, a manifestation of the divine will, which must be carried out without delay or postponement. Punctuality exacts self-discipline and detachment; it often asks us to interrupt some interesting, pleasant work in order to give ourselves to another kind, perhaps less attractive or less important. However, it would be a great mistake to esteem our duties and to dedicate ourselves to them according to the attraction we have for them or according to their more or less apparent importance. All is important and beautiful when it is the expression of the will of God, and the soul who wishes to live in this holy will at every minute of the day, will never omit the slightest act prescribed by its rule of life. To prolong what we are doing beyond the prescribed time, or to dispense ourselves from a duty without serious reason, is to abandon the will of God; it shows an attachment to our own will, and often enough, to our own convenience.

"O Lord, meditating in Your presence, I understand that the best remedy for carelessness and laxity in performing my duties in charity. I must strive to do everything for love, with the special intention of pleasing You.

"How gracious of You, my God, and how fortunate for me, a poor nothing, to be able to work in order to please You! This thought makes me want to sacrifice everything with joy. O Lord, Your words console me and renew my youth as an eagle's! Yes, sometimes I succeed better and more surely by repeating to myself: 'Do this because it is pleasing to God,' instead of simply saying, 'It is my duty" (cf. Bl. M. Therese Soubiran).


Hand copy as many times as deemed necessary for complete comprehension. ;-) "To prolong what we are doing beyond the prescribed time, or to dispense ourselves from a duty without serious reason, is to abandon the will of God; it shows an attachment to our own will, and often enough, to our own convenience."

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School Days

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The first box arrived today: Faith's books. Just like all seasons, it comes whether we are ready or not. I am telling myself I am ready, ready or not. This is a sort of landmark year for us. This is the last year Noah will be at home -- my last year with two students, whittled down from three. This is my last year with my second born in high school. Next year he makes a big leap. Big leaps for our family. When I began homeschooling, I said I would home school for as long as it worked for us. This is the eighth year it has worked for us. I cannot predict what will happen in the future, I can only live in the present. The present is third grade for Faith and eighth grade for Noah at home, twelfth grade for Joshua, and junior year in college for Geoffrey.

I have never really written about our school. I'm not a homeschooler at heart. It was never my dream, but it was an answer to a prayer. It is an answer to a prayer. It keeps my children close, safe, young. I pray that it provides them with a strong foundation for the days in which they will not be under my wing. I always wanted to give my children the education that I had, in the day when the pink Baltimore Catechism was in every child's desk. In the days when teachers in habits far outnumbered secular teachers. I never once had my knuckles smacked with a ruler by a sister. I was only ever treated with love and concern for the well-being of my body and my soul. There are no nun jokes in my repertoire, only good memories.

And so when we started homeschooling, that is what I sought -- an old-fashioned Catholic education. And by-and-large that's what we've had. This year I'm stepping away from my safety net just a bit, and I am using a different curriculum for Faith, though it will still be an old-fashioned Catholic education. I recognize that not all children are the same, even though it may have taken me eight years to recognize that. Faith is a wanderer, a dreamer, not so much a thinker. She would rather be outdoors -- on the swings, in the creek, flying up the street on her bicycle -- than sitting anywhere indoors. She asks me a hundred times a school day, "Can I be done?" She's always planning for her escape. I am switching her to Catholic Heritage Curricula this year. We have used Seton's full curriculum each year for all the children. I recognize Faith's need for some different and I hope that CHC will fill that need. Besides their core curriculum, I have added a few fun things to her list of books -- the box that arrived this morning:

Language Arts:
Little Apostle on Crutches
Catholic Tales for Boys and Girls 1, and 2
My Catholic Speller Level B
Language of God Level B
MCP Phonics Level C

Math:
MCP Level C

Science:
Behold and See Level C
My Body

Social Studies:
Map Skills Level C

Religion:
Faith and Life
A Year with God
My Path to Heaven

Art/Enrichment:
Sewing with St. Anne
Tea and Cake with the Saints
Art with a Purpose
Catholic Heritage Handwriting


For Noah I am sticking with Seton. I have taught every year of Seton's curriculum K through 8 at least once, most twice. Some years are better than others and I love grade 8. I love their American history and I love their science in eighth grade. I supplement in a few areas, but mostly it's Seton, straight up.

Language Arts:
Wordly Wise Book 5
Seton Spelling for Young Catholics Grade 8
These Are Our Horizons
Book of Friendliness
Reading 8 for Young Catholics Comprehension
Reading 8 for Young Catholics Thinking Skills
The Yearling
The Hidden Treasure of Glaston
English for Young Catholics
Composition for Young Catholics

Mathematics:
Algebra 1/2

Religion:
St. Joseph's Baltimore Catechism 2
The Story of the Church

History:
American History for Young Catholics (just found out this is a different history book, so I'm not certain if we'll love this quite as much as the older one -- I may have a decision to make about which to use)
Atlas of American History
World Geography (I create my own reports and study guides using Country Reports. I think we'll cover Asia this year.)

Science:
Life Science

Latin:
Latina Christiana (finishing up I ; starting and, hopefully, finishing II)

And because my daughter has begged me 100 times to please open her box of books, and I finally caved, I am off to go through her new shiny covers and start my lesson plans. Bon voyage to you in your new year.

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The Pantry

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Alrighty then. You asked, so I'll show. I'm fairly embarrassed by the condition of my pantry before I organized, but I suppose it's a good renovation "before" and "after."

The story behind the pantry is that when we moved to this house, this was the laundry room. Or laundry closet, I should say. So, it is large enough for a side-by-side washer and dryer. It's just a few short steps from my stove and refrigerator, however, which is just too close for laundry, in my opinion. I have sanitation issues with dirty clothes being moved around in the same room where I prepare meals. It's just really close. So we moved the laundry space to the dungeon and sealed off the plumbing in the laundry closet. We hung shelves and moved the food in. We have an electrical outlet there, which is convenient for plugging in a cordless sweeper.

BEFORE
Unfortunately with the doors on you really can't get the true effect. Just imagine double the mess pictured.

The problem was, after years (12 years) of use, the shelves started to sag in the middle and they were so deep that stuff would actually get lost in there. During our mini-renovation (which involved removing wallpaper from the kitchen and painting the walls), Doug took down the shelves and patched the holes they had made. I painted the closet and we purchased some commercial grade chrome shelves -- a tall one with the same number of shelves we had, and essentially the same amount of space, and a small one to place sideways to hold some small appliances and extra serving pieces that needed a new home.

AFTER
Before the doors were re-hung. The glass jars on the top shelf are these, and the plastic handled containers holding the paper products are these -- very cool and great for holding several small things..

I'm very happy with the outcome. It's nothing glam, but it's very functional, more so than it had been in the last five years or so. It had become a collecting place for many things that didn't need to reside there, so just removing everything and putting it back (or not) made a a huge difference. Thinking about what I really wanted in there helped. I moved my baking supplies from a smaller pantry on the other side of the refrigerator and that made a huge difference in how efficient I can be in the kitchen. We often don't really think about how we use things when we decide where they belong and I'll try not to make that mistake again.

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Greater than she no one but God

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KNOLLER, Martin
Assumption of the Virgin
c. 1774


"Mary has been taken up to heaven by God in body and soul, and the angels rejoice.’ Joy overtakes both angels and men. Why is it that we feel today this intimate delight, with our heart brimming over, with our soul full of peace? Because we are celebrating the glorification of our mother, and it is only natural that we her children rejoice in a special way upon seeing how the most Blessed Trinity honours her.

It was on Calvary that Christ, her most blessed Son and our brother, gave her to us as our mother, when he said to St John: ‘Behold your mother.’ And we received her, along with the beloved disciple, in that moment of supreme grief. The blessed Virgin embraced us in her suffering, as the ancient prophecy was fulfilled: ‘And a sword shall pierce your own soul.’ We are all her children, she is the Mother of all mankind. And now, the whole human race commemorates her ineffable assumption. Mary is welcomed to heaven: the Daughter of God the Father, Mother of God the Son, Spouse of God the Holy Spirit. Greater than she no one but God." -- St. Josemaria Escriva

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Where's Waldo?

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Being at the water park all day was like spending five hours playing "Where's Waldo?". Only hotter. And wetter. I detest "Where's Waldo?".

The entire day was spent (besides being splashed by short, evil people) searching for my children. Where's Faith? Where's Noah? Where's Joshua?

Now it's time to play Where's the Noxzema?

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Eating dirt

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No time for Quick Takes today. The kids are dragging me to the water park. I'd rather eat dirt. Truly.

Off we go. Have a beautiful weekend (and stay away from water parks).

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Looking forward and other opinionated nonsense

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Finally, I've finished all the household projects. Everything is clean, organized, and in its place. It's a great feeling. I just wish it would last longer than a week (if that). I took pictures of my pantry, but I'm not certain I'm showing. I mean really, the pantry? And I have yet to take pictures of Noah's room. It's nice, and much brighter, although because it's on the north side of the house, under the trees, it's still pretty dark. It's clean, and tidy, for today anyway.

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Doug is using my van this week. Tomorrow he obtains a rental and his car goes to the body shop for a week. I really don't mind being at home without a car. It gives me a reason to say "we're staying home." The kids, however, are bored out of their minds. Summer is so, so long. Two more weeks until school starts for Joshua. Add a few days for the kids at home. Because we are a split family (part at school, part at home) I follow the institutional school calendar, but I think it's crazy to start school on a Wednesday. When Joshua goes back we'll spend a few days setting up our school. We have the annual decision to make -- in the basement or in the kitchen? Today I'll plan my year, order books, and begin making plans.

~~~~~

Maggie has gone several days now (o.k. really just one) without destroying the paint in the hall (knock on wood). After Doug painted it, I rubbed it with white vinegar in hopes that if it is the smell or the taste that appeals to her, she will be confused. I also am in the process of changing her food, just in case it is a nutritional deficiency. And we stocked up on chewies. If she does it now, I'm out of ideas and she may end up going on a long drive in the country (I'm only partially kidding about that -- Doug said he will not tolerate a dog destroying the house and I can't blame him. But the kids will probably break him down.).

~~~~~

Faith and I watched Clare and Francis yesterday. It was a fascinating story -- I had no idea their lives were so intimately connected. I think I assumed they met later in life. If you have not yet seen it, put it on your Netflix list or ask your library to purchase it. While I was watching, I started a shawl that I had started and then ripped out last fall. I am crocheting this time, which is much faster for me than knitting. I'll be like an old lady in her dotage this winter, sitting with my shawl over my shoulders. :-)

And speaking of Clare, in celebration of her Feast Day yesterday, we enjoyed Italian bread salad for dinner, and then Pizzelles and Strawberry Gelato for dessert. The Strawberry Gelato was divine. I actually could not think of anything that I had eaten that tasted better. That's really something. I'll post the recipe on my food blog, and really, you have to try it. It's a good reason to buy an ice cream freezer if you don't already own one.

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Did you hear the statement Jennifer Aniston made that women don't actually need men to have a baby? (Of course you did.) Besides the obvious ridiculousness of the statement (um, biology?) I feel awful that so many women actually believe the statement to be true. First, in order to believe that to be true, you have to have abandoned God. You can not believe that God is all knowing and all powerful and also believe that he didn't know what he was doing when he created human beings as he did -- that a man and woman are both needed to create new life. Second, you have to have given up on humanity to say "I want what I want, and I'll do it myself." What a selfish concept -- it doesn't matter what my child wants or needs, just me. Me, me, me. And such egotism -- that I am powerful enough to do it all by myself. No humility. It is one thing for a woman to raise a child by herself -- a child that was created in love, but for one reason or another she is alone. It is another thing entirely to enter into motherhood entirely alone, nothing but a woman and a sperm sample.

O.k. Stepping down off my soap box to go clean something -- a dirty toilet or some smelly laundry. Have a great day.

"The state in which God desires most to find us is that of humiliation. To be little before God is not enough; we must be nothing, nothing at all. This is the foundation upon which He builds, because it pleases Him to make things out of nothing." -- St. Jane France de Chantal

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Wanted: Dog Whisperer

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O.K. then. She did it again (#3 here). Third time. Same spot. I don't think she ate the paint this time, but used her claw to scratch at the paint -- a spot about the size of a baseball.

What can I assume about this situation?

The dog lost her mind? Well, she's normal in every other way.

She has some odd nutritional deficiency? I don't think she ate the paint this time, so probably not.

There is something inside the wall that she smells? I'd really rather not think that thought, especially since I can not get inside the wall without ripping the drywall off the wall.

She is extremely bored and finds it very exciting to scratch the paint off the wall in the exact same place three times? I can think of about a million things more exciting even for a dog.


Are there are dog whisperers among my readers? Any thoughts? Any suggestions?


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It's that time again...

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...Schultüte time!

Read about the tradition here, and learn how to make them here. Fun, fun, fun!

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Hot Monday Daybook

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Outside my window...it's cool yet this morning, we slept with the windows open again. But, it's going to be blazing hot all week -- mid 90s. I'm sick of it. Not that it matters if I'm sick of it, but I am.

I am thinking...about an end to summer. My senior in high school starts back the last week of August and I think I'll be ready for home school to start as well. There is only so much unstructured time I can stand.

I am thankful for...feast days. Today we are celebrating St. Teresa Benedicta, also known as St. Edith Stein. What an incredible life...what a beautiful example of love of God.

From the learning rooms...I have plans to order books this week, depending on finances. Doug's accident put us back $600, so I may have to spread it out.

From the kitchen...a German feast for St. Teresa Benedicta: German Style Bratwurst, German potato salad, German green beans, Käsekuchen

I am wearing...khaki capris, a blue and white blouse, Berkis

I am creating...I just finished the third Little Maid in Row. They are so darling. Eventually I'll have these three framed together and then make three more.

I am reading...just finished The Art of Racing in the Rain. There's an interesting story behind me choosing to read it. Maybe I'll tell you this week. It was a good read. Very good, though sad on many levels (partly due to my story and partly due to the book).

I am hoping...for a happy day. I'm keeping my wishes simple these days.

I am hearing...just the fish tank. Faith is already outdoors playing. Doug is home today -- in the next room on his Blackberry. Noah is upstairs and Josh is still sleeping.

Around the house...One more room to paint -- Noah's and it's going to be Glacial Tint (white!). His room is in the back of the house and it's so dark in there all the time, I'm brightening it up. It's currently two odd shades of green and tan (two walls of each) from when Geoff slept there. I found Noah some new bright bedding and drapes and he's getting a mini-makeover.

One of my favorite things...cheesecake for dessert. I'm trying a German recipe that I hope is like a cheesecake my grandma used to buy for us when I was a little girl. It came from a German bakery in Cincinnati, and we ate it for breakfast. It was not too sweet, and sort of cakey in texture. I know my memories of it are partly memories of my grandma's house and how it felt to be with her, which will make the cheesecake that much better if I find the right recipe.

A few plans for the rest of the week...Doug is off today and tomorrow and he has a few plans for the kids. Noah has a birthday on Sunday, so I need to make a few plans.

A picture thought...

The Three Little Maids


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The Bread of Life

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"When we go before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament we represent the one in the world who is in most need of God’s Mercy." We "stand in behalf of the one in the world who does not know Christ and who is farthest away from God and we bring down upon their soul the Precious Blood of The Lamb." - Pope John Paul II

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Seven Quick Takes Friday

Every Friday comes around and I am wasted and dry -- nothing to offer here. This week, however, was action packed, though that's not necessarily a good thing.

-1-

Monday was good. My mom came (bearing Panera coffee and a Blueberry Scone) and we painted the entire kitchen. It's fresh and clean and the color of Custard Cream (yum!). Doug replaced all the switches and outlets (one of those things you just have to do when a house is 25 years old). I'm waiting on copper wall plates that I ordered and then the kitchen will be completely finished.

-2-

On Tuesday, I removed the shelves from the pantry, repaired the walls, painted them, and replaced the shelves with commercial grade free-standing shelves. It looks great and I feel very organized.

-3-

On Tuesday, while I was painting the pantry, the dog ate the paint off the foyer walls. Yes, you read that correctly. "Why?" I asked about 100 times. Why would a dog eat paint off the wall? She's probably not getting enough exercise, but really? The paint off the freshly painted walls? I present Exhibit A:

Because the top coat was fresh, the paint stretched when she pulled. She took it right down to the original coat of paint. And then she ate it.



And she lived to tell about it.

-4-

Fortunately, after asking 100 times "Why?" Doug repaired the wall. Pretty good, huh? If he ever loses his job as a professional Catholic panhandler, he could be a painter.

-5-

After just a few weeks with bare bulbs in my chandelier, I found shades. You'll never believe where I found them. See number 6.




-6-

Yesterday I went to the Salvation Army Thrift Store for the first time in my life. I'd never been "thrifting." I've been to second-hand stores and antique shops, but never thrift stores. College boy, however, needs some furniture for his apartment this fall and we're going to have to buy cheap, cheap. I didn't find anything for college boy, but I found brand new, still-in-the-wrapper chandelier shades for $2 apiece. How weird is that?


-7-

Yesterday as I was running into the grocery store my cell phone rang. It was Doug telling me he'd been in a car accident. Thankfully he was not injured. The car, however, was very injured. He ran into the back of a pick-up truck with the tailgate down. Crunch. The driver of the pick-up said he was fine, but then he spoke to his wife on the phone and decided he might not be fine. Ugh. It infuriates me to think of one person taking advantage of another, and there is nothing we can do. And I'm certain it happens all the time.

Not to end this Quick Takes on a sour note, I leave you with my motto this week:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Have a glorious weekend, dear friend. Love each other with all your might, and trust in God in all things.


Go see Jen for more Quick Takes.
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The Hall

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Are you tired of looking at my walls yet? I apologize if this looks like it has become a home decorating blog. Truly it has not. But that's almost all I'm doing these days, and what's on my mind is usually what's on this blog. ;-)

This week my mom and I painted the kitchen and then I took everything, including the shelves, out of the pantry and painted it. We bought some free-standing commercial grade shelves that we are going to use instead of attached shelves in there. I hope I like them since it was a pretty permanent change. I took down the wallpaper border I had in the kitchen and then I painted the kitchen the same color that it already was (my mother-in-law thinks I'm nuts!), except now there are no nicks or marks (or food!). Now the walls are completely Custard Cream with no breaks (the border) and I love the clean, fresh look.

Anyway, back to the hall. Remember when I told you that my mom and I painted the walls in the foyer (that was just a week ago), and it was uber bright? And that my husband came home from work and called it "a color that does not exist in nature"? And that he sent me back to the paint store for a different color? Well, he took a half day off work and painted over the "unnatural" color, and now he likes it a lot. In fact, everyone who has seen it likes it a lot, except me. I wanted to brighten the hall and it's darker than it was before. But, I am choosing to like it -- it's all in the attitude.

I don't have before pictures per se, but I do have a couple pics where you can see the original color.

This is the wall next to the front door where I had my new chips taped so I could decide which color I liked.

And here is a picture of Faith at Easter.


The table on the wall between the living room and the front door.


The framed picture above the table next to the door. I love this print. It was a Christmas card with this famous nativity printed on it. The large mat really brings the picture into focus. It was in my dining room, but looks pretty here with the green background. I think I found the frame with mat at Target -- see, you don't really have to spend a lot to have a nice piece of art. Simple, but beautiful.


View from the stairs down the hall toward the kitchen. The door is the powder room. Framed are old photographs of my great grandparents (on the left) and Doug's grandparents. I love old pictures of family, as you'll see below.


View from the front door, stairs (obviously) on the left and living room on the right. Dining area and kitchen are straight down the hall.


Closer view of hall looking toward the dining area and kitchen.




Family pictures -- great grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles -- pictures dating back a century.

PS. The final color is Behr Premium Olivine.

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Wordless Wednesday: My Long-Legged Horsey Rider

"You've been warned"

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This letter arrived in my inbox this morning. My mother and I were just discussing this topic yesterday -- the popular vampire movies -- actually we were talking about them in reference to exorcisms, and Fr. Euteneuer's new book, which brings the need for modern-day exorcisms to light. Thought exorcisms were something of the past? Not at all. In fact, with modern-day literature and films, we may be entering into a new age of exorcisms. This letter from Fr. Euteneuer highlights some of the issues of the vampire films so popular today and I wanted to share it.

With the issuing of the third movie in the Twilight series I have to speak out about our culture's twisted fascination with vampires. I don't hesitate to tell people that I am totally disgusted with the new fad sweeping over our youth culture these days. It is not just kids that are taken up with the wiles of the dark world either: many moms of teens are swooning for them too. I think that these seductive creatures are simply the spawn of the Harry Potter culture that has for over a decade now been indoctrinating kids to think that the occult world is normal and that all this evil messaging is harmless when dressed up as entertainment. That's vampire logic - and just what the devil wants us to think.

Gone are the days of Bella Lugosi's Dracula (1931) where good was good and evil was evil. A crucifix would drive Dracula away and then he had to go into his infernal coffin when the first streaks of dawn appeared. He was in every way presented as a creature of evil, dark of heart and dread to encounter. He drank human blood too, a feature that was supposed to strike terror in every person who valued his life's essence. The image of a blood-sucking creature who lives in slime and darkness and will pounce on you to drain out your very essence should terrorize every decent person. This is because vampires used to be images of demons. That's what demons are all about: the vanquishing of all human decency and life. They represent the spiritual vortexes of the demon world that drag down to the depths of hell all who fall prey to their wiles.

But, my, how vampires have come up in the world these days.

Nowadays vampires are divided into good and bad - no longer intrinsically evil. The good ones rescue vulnerable women instead of biting them and, allegedly, drink only animal blood (well, we haven't seen the last Twilight movie yet...). And crucifixes? Don't think you'll see any of those driving away bad guys in these movies. The heroes are the "good" vampires, not the Church or religious faith in Christ.

These super-star vampires also walk around in sunlight and, as a matter of fact, their skin just happens to glisten like diamonds when exposed to direct sunlight. Isn't that wonderful? The glam vamps are gentlemen, chaste and well-intentioned, yet they are always hovering around the edge of "falling" and in seductive situations which cause young people to think that they are capable, like their hero vampire, Edward Cullen, of going just so far and pulling back, out of self-control. That's teaching them to play with fire, not a real chastity message for kids.

The worst part of this fascination with vampires from a faith point of view, however, is its blasphemy of the Eucharist. "Unless you eat my flesh and drink my blood you have no life in you," said our Blessed Lord in Chapter 6 of John's Gospel. He is the One who offers His flesh and blood for the life of the world. The vampires eat (bite) the flesh and drink the blood of victims rather than give their own to redeem others. Their bites corrupt and transform their victims into vampires like themselves. They have no life in them. They are the "living dead" by their own estimate.

How sad that this generation has been so taken in by those who represent the very antithesis of the core reality of our Faith - the Eucharist. Vampire logic is anti-Eucharistic logic, and it's very dangerous for our kids. In their obsessive fascination with such darkness, kids (and adults) turn their backs on the One who actually died for them.

To those who say, "Oh, Father, it's only harmless entertainment," I say simply: You've been warned.

Sincerely,
Rev. Thomas J. Euteneuer
President, Human Life International

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His Presence

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"When you have received Him, stir up your heart to do Him homage; speak to Him about your spiritual life, gazing upon Him in your soul where He is present for your happiness; welcome Him as warmly as possible, and behave outwardly in such a way that your actions may give proof to all of His Presence."

- St. Francis de Sales

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More Movie Time

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I have a couple more movie reviews to add to this summer's list. I suppose since we're not taking a vacation this year, this summer will be remembered as "the movie summer" (or alternately, "the summer we painted all the walls").



I took my teenagers plus one to the theater to see Inception last week. I can't give you a review for that movie, but I can you tell what I thought of Despicable Me. Because I was taking the boys to a theater 20 minutes away, I thought I'd just find something for Faith and I to see together while the boys were in their movie. I thought that Beezus and Ramona was in theaters. I was wrong. The only movie for us to see was Despicable Me, and I told my sons I'd rather eat dirt than see it. I guess the moral to that story is "don't judge a movie by its trailer." What I thought was going to be a movie about good guys and bad guys, was actually a movie about three little girls and a tough guy with a really soft heart. It was cute, funny, and had a great lesson to be learned.









On the Netflix front, Doug and I sat down to watch "Taking Chance" last week and I was very surprised, pleasantly so, by this movie. Not for any women with a husband deployed, or maybe even in active service, depending on your emotional level, but other than that exception, this movie is one I would recommend every American see. It is the story of USMC officer Lieutenant Colonel Michael Strobl who makes the choice to escort a fallen Marine, Pfc. Chance Phelps, across the country to his home in Wyoming. The story gives an insider look at the care and respect given to each fallen soldier as he (or she) is prepared for and taken to his final resting place. It is a sad, but beautiful story of American loyalty, and HBO did a great job with it. The screenplay was written by Strobl and gives a unique insight to the job of the soldier escort. My brother told me that he had a hard time watching the film because it was so moving. He had also escorted a fallen soldier during his career as a Marine, about 10 years ago, and he said the movie was very "real."


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