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I told my mom last night, "O.k., I'm done with this." "This" meaning: pain, forced rest, not my normal life.
Yes, even laying around reading, knitting, watching movies, making rosaries, gets old, old, old. I want to go outdoors and hang the laundry, and clean the toilets (well, actually I did do that yesterday, but don't tell my mom), and go to Target.
I am so bored. And go figure -- I just can't go back to my life yet. Not unless I want to undo all the reconstructive work that was done inside. It's just like life to put us in our place every now and again.
So, I'll blog a little. After five or six sessions at the computer, I finished this meme I borrowed from dear Maggie. It's not much, but it was something to do.
1. Where is your cell phone? No idea. Dear husband had it last.
2. Your significant other? At Mass.
3. Your hair? Bed-messed and gray. Very gray.
4. Your mother? Margaret, coming soon with lunch -- God love her.
5. Your father? Robert. Gone to heaven since 1982.
6. Your favorite thing? Children -- my children, my nieces and nephews, my friends' children -- I love kids
7. Your dream last night? Too many weird dreams lately -- from the pain meds I think
8. Your favorite drink? Coffee
9. Your dream/goal? For my children to be saints
10. The room you’re in? Family room
11. Your church? St. Matthew the Apostle Roman Catholic Church
12. Your fear? To lose someone I love -- probably the result of no. 5
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Where I am now -- completely happy with just love of God and family
14. Where were you last night? On the sofa watching a movie
15. What you’re not? Patient
16. Muffins? Please
17. One of your wish list items? Time for school planning
18. Where you grew up? Ohio mostly
19. The last thing you did? chat with dear husband about the house painting which is mostly finished
20. What are you wearing? pjs
21. Your TV? It's on -- Food Network
22. Your pets? Not mine -- the kids'; two gerbils and a frog are all that's left right for now
23. Your computer? A Mac
24. Your life? Beautiful
25. Your mood? Antsy
26. Missing someone? Not for now
27. Your car? Honda Pilot
28. Something you’re not wearing? makeup
29. Favorite store? Don't like shopping
30. Your summer? Boring
31. Like(love) someone? Many someones
32. Your favorite color? Yellow
33. Last time you laughed? This afternoon with Peach
34. Last time you cried? Can't remember
35. Who will re post this? No idea
Duh -- I just realized that this was supposed to be a One Word Meme . Ok -- I'm just out of it. Or maybe I did it my way.
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Patience, patience, patience. We're always so in need of it, and yet it seems to be in such short supply! Things will be better soon. Though it feels like forever, it hasn't been so long since your surgery. Next year, or the year after, or maybe ten years hence, you'll look back on this time and, while it won't seem good, it won't seem quite so bad, either.
ReplyDeleteI remember that I broke my ankle before Delaney was even a month old. I still can't look back on the actual moment it happened with any sort of...maturity? Understanding? It's still completely beyond me that it happened at all. It was broken in three places, so I needed surgery to repair it. After a week in the hospital, I came home with a metal plate on one side and a wire on the other, and a screw that would come out six weeks later that held the normally mobile leg bones in place so the ankle bones could heal. I couldn't put any pressure on it at all else it would break my leg bones, too. Still, I had a newborn babe to tend to, and a toddler, and David couldn't take any time off from work so I was on my own...alone, in pain and largely incapacitated with two small children to take care of. Our marriage was a bit strained, too, from a reunion much like we're going through now, and an international move, and a new baby, so it was certainly no picnic. But we made it...I made it. And I was pretty resourceful in the process, and made friends I wouldn't have otherwise, as people I barely knew made a point of stopping in to check on me.
And what is my point? Well, nothing, really, except to tell you that I understand a little how you feel and that after a while, it won't be the most consuming thing in your life. So sit back for a little while longer and enjoy your movies. Let your kids and husband take care of you like you have taken care of them for so long. Eat ice cream and potato chips (not together) and plan the kids' school year. Soon, you'll be better, up and around, and life will go on as it always has and this will be nothing more than a bad dream.
And I love you and I'm still praying for you. :-)
Dearest Jennie,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words. I must sound like a whiner. I need to "change my tone." I'll pray on that. I suppose I'm just surprised at how truly bored I am. Like so many moms who commented when I had surgery -- have a great rest -- I thought I would enjoy my time down. But pain makes me distracted and my husband has not exactly been attentive 20 feet up on a ladder. He's back to work today and I'm praying for a nice long soaking rain that will keep the kids indoors and calm us all.
You don't sound like a whiner. :-) Just a frustrated mom. We're not used to sitting still for days on end, and it's no vacation, in spite of the suggestions of well-wishers! But it will end soon. All things come to end, be they good or bad.
ReplyDeleteI hope today is better for you and the children keeping you company.