Stop, Look, and Listen

That's what I'm going to do this week.

Not in traffic, just in my home.

We're taking a break week. We finished week nine, which with Seton is testing week. I know that many homeschoolers don't 'approve' of testing, but it works for us, and that's what it's all about.

But, Michael asked for a break week. I explained to him that if we break between each quarter, he'll have to school through the month of June. He said that's o.k. Maybe he thinks it will go away by the time June comes around, but I think he doesn't mind being a little more productive for part of the summer.

So, instead of surging on, we have a week of rest. And I am going to use this week to think about whether or not life as we know it is working. I have a sense that it's not.

This year has been different in more ways than just my students being different. Before this year, I had the two younger boys for students, and Peach just played around. Now, with Francis in prep school, I have a fifth grader and a kindergartner, which lightened my load quite a bit. Seventh and eighth grade were fairly hands-on, in a different way than kindergarten. It required much more of my brain than kindergarten. So having this lightened load has allowed me to walk away a little from the school table. And I think I've walked a little too much.

Michael is a self-starter, very typical of a kid who has been homeschooled since the beginning. He doesn't wait to be told what to do -- "get out your book and turn to page such and such" -- like school kids do. He just sits down and starts. And he just plows through until he's finished. Which is great. But, it's not great if he's doing it alone. I think I've given him a little too much solitary time. He did very well on his tests, so it's not that he doesn't 'get it.' But he shouldn't have to completely self learn.

And Peach's school requires all of about 45 minutes. We get her done in one sit-down. So, it's not that school isn't getting done. I'm just feeling like it's getting done without much direction.

And Francis still needs much direction after school. This weekend was a reminder that when I forget to help him stay on track, he doesn't stay on track. Being up at 11 p.m. helping him finish a paper is not fun for anyone.

And that brings me to this blog. When I starting blogging, it was Ad maiorem Dei gloriam, for the greater glory of God. I think I've strayed a bit from my objective, and I'm going to try and straighten the wheel.

So, (and this is more for me to say out loud than for you to hear, but that's o.k.) no more writing until everything else is done. And I mean it. That means school work and planning. That mean laundry and ironing, and meal preparation. My vocation is not to be a writer. It is to be a mother and wife.

And to help me in my mission, I will likely need to plan more. A to-do list everyday. A loosely planned schedule. A few years ago, I tried using The Mother's Rule of Life. I like the philosophy, but could never run my ship quite so tightly. I never saw the point in not seizing the moment. Sometimes (a lot of times) you just have to seize the moment. Which means not having to account to some arbitrary schedule. But, some schedule is good. Too much loosey-goosey results in not getting anything accomplished.

So, you may not see me for a few days here and there. Which will be hard for me. I have always wanted to have a fresh post pop up when you visit. Ever the oldest child, I didn't want to disappointed you when you stopped to visit and saw the same tired post for three days. But, alas, this blog, and thus you, cannot not be my priority. And you understand.

Lord, teach me to be generous.
Teach me to serve you as you deserve;
to give and not to count the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labor and not to ask for reward,
save that of knowing that I do your will.

I ask my prayer in Jesus' name. Amen.

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