Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:6-7



Thursday, August 16, 2012

(8/16)...streaming



To those of you who were praying for me yesterday, thank you for your prayers. I, unfortunately, don't have much more news than I did before. I learned that the positive test result I had (anti-nuclear antibody) was a speckled pattern, which essentially means nothing to me except that it's probably not the autoimmune thyroid I was hoping it was (since I already know I have low thyroid). It could be lupus, or rheumatoid arthritis. It's possible it's none of the above. I suspect it could be a rare form of lupus -- lupus cystitis -- because I have all the urinary symptoms. I need to stop self-diagnosing, however. I see a rheumatologist in September, as well as a uro/gyn who is well know for her miraculous diagnosis and treatment  (and by miraculous I really mean she finds things other doctors don't which probably means she is really smart and cares about her patients, which I can't say all doctors do).

I talked to my doctor about the nerve pain in my leg and she is sending me for a nerve conduction test. It just sounds fun, doesn't it? We're not going to talk about it now. I am hoping the above-mentioned miracle worker can figure it all out. Each time I go to a doctor and list all the symptoms/conditions I have she just shakes her head. What does that mean? I have a growing list of medicines I'm on and each doctor I see I tell them I really don't want to be on any more medications. And then I leave with a new script. I got a prescription yesterday for a handicap placard for my car. I am both grateful and slightly defeated. Sigh.


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One of the medications I am on for nerve pain, neurontin, causes a fuzzy head, like I need that. It's not that the information isn't there, I just can't get it out. It's a strange sensation. I keep thinking of things I want to blog about, but then I can never remember what they are. Of course, I do that on a normal  day all the time, but this is odd because the thought is there, it's just like it's in the middle of my brain and I can't get to it.


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I watched another good medical community film last night -- Molly. It has a nude scene it it (the autistic girl is hot and so she takes her clothes off, except she's a grown woman) so maybe not to watch when the kids are in the room, but it was a touching story about a brother and sister, as he takes care of her after the facility she is in closes. I think the medical stuff was science fiction (I'm pretty sure no one is transplanting brain stem cells, at least not in people, but I could be wrong) but the characters were good and believable.

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I have noticed an awful lot of cyclists on the roads lately. A lot more than usual. Is this an Olympic phenomenon? We did have a big cycling fundraiser recently so maybe folks were just training. Of course on campus it's normal. The other day I was driving just off campus, up a two-way, two-lane road and a cyclist was in the middle of the lane in front of me. There was a car coming in the other direction so I couldn't pass. I just stayed a couple bike lengths behind her until she turned around with her hand held out, palm up and yelled "What the f***?" My daughter's window was open, so that was lovely. I have no idea what she thought I did wrong. I just passed her when I could and ignored her.

The same thing happened a couple days later closer to home. Except without the profanity. The cyclist was in the middle of the road (and there was a bike lane on the right side of the road, but he couldn't be bothered with a bike lane apparently), and I couldn't pass because of an oncoming car. He kept turning around looking at me but never got to the side of the road. I finally passed but could tell he was perturbed. Any cyclists out there? Can you tell me what I am doing wrong?


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In light of the fact that I still have not planned a day of lessons, I'm going to shut the computer off for a few days, so you won't see me here. I do need to update my rosary blog, and that may or may not happen. I was dying to get into my daily planner (which started August 1) but when I opened it the other day I realized that the lesson plan section is not big enough for me. Raise your hand if you need nice big squares for lesson plans. I think I have some old Seton planners on the shelves in the basement. Time to resurrect one of those. I love the menu planner in my Catholic Daily Planner, however, and the feast days on the calendar. I went through Noah's school calendar the other day and wrote "NO SCHOOL" at the top off all the calendar days when he is off. You can see how motivated I am.

See ya soon, folks.

17 comments:

  1. My dad is an avid cyclist. You're not doing anything wrong. You were trying not to run the bicycle off the road, which is more courteous than most drivers. Bike-riders have come to expect that people will not let them cross a driveway before they turn into it, and that they will push them off to the side (like you did not do). That said, the riders who were in the middle of the street instead of near the shoulder were definitely in the wrong.

    I'll keep praying that you find some answers, preferably with fewer meds attached!

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  2. I have no idea about the cyclists, especially the one with an open bike lane. Would they rather have you run them down?

    I'll be keeping you in my prayers through all your medical trials. My young cousin is going through something similar and I think we are all kind of expecting a lupus diagnosis. It runs in my family, although it primarily has affected the men so far, which is not generally the norm. But still . . . the waiting and discovering and "educated guessing" takes its toll. Sending you some hugs via the internet, too! xo

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  3. that whole bishop thing...hard stuff...makes me sad, there are so many liberal bishops, we have one and he's retiring (he has to)so we are up for a new one, hopefully a really good one!!! (praying) I can't get too worked up, I didn't even read your whole post yesterday, because I get too upset, we must remain hopeful and pray pray pray for our shepherds, as hard as it is sometimes.

    Love the picture of the peaches, yummy, they are so good right now, when we buy them from Sam's club, they are the first fruit to go in our house!

    Praying for you and all the health issues you are facing. Hoping you are feeling your best soon!

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  4. Was the bike lane separated from the road by a grass median? Perhaps he joined the road while it was separated and couldn't safely get over??? Perhaps he intended to turn left up ahead??? Bill commuted by bike for a few months before knee surgery when we lived in the DC area. Riding on the side of a city street is no fun, but no cyclists rode in the middle of the lane unless they were preparing to turn left, soon.

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  5. Barbara,

    You are in my prayers and on my heart. I have always marveled at all the things you managed to accomplish in one short day, so I know your physical limitations right now must be especially difficult and discouraging for you.

    I hope you get some answers soon. Consider yourself hugged! --- Rosemary

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  6. Bikers are everywhere. I would be also but I am scared of getting hit by the crazy drivers out there.

    We stick to trails. Much safer.

    Feel better soon!

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  7. Barb,

    I have commented about this before but we have had a lot of really similar medical stuff in our history. I had a total hysterectomy, like you did, in 2007. After that surgery I had a host of symptoms and medical tests that indicated autoimmune disease. They have done many, many tests including the nerve conduction test. (MS was one of the things looked for and ruled out) I was told a couple of times no thyroid but eventually an endocrinologist did a bunch of testing and biopsies which confirmed yes absolutely I have autoimmune thyroid (Hashimotos).

    I know you have better things to do than read about my medical issues but I just posted this to try to say hang in there. Hopefully they will get to the bottom of it and that all these tests won't be in vain. Try to remain mindful to stay in the moment and not let the anxiety get crazy. That can be hard for me sometimes but, I try to give it my best shot.

    Thoughts and prayers are with you!
    Jan

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  8. I hope all goes well and you start feeling better. It is so hard not o feel like yourself.
    Lisa

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  9. Aimee,
    the waiting and guessing is hard especially being the kind of person who wants to know answers and not just fix it. So many physicians want to throw a pill at you without finding the root of the problem. I know sometimes there is no answer, but I really think many of my issues are tied together.

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  10. You are right, Jamie, we have to pray and remember that ultimately, no matter what happens, even if we face tremendous suffering on earth, we will be with God in the end. It is just so hard when you see injustious.

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  11. Michelle,
    I appreciate you giving the cyclist the benefit of the doubt. The girl on campus rode in the middle of the street because there were cars parked on the side of the road. I don't fault her except for her attitude and outburst. The second cyclist was on a suburban road with a marked, but not divided, bike lane. No left turn in the foreseeable distance.

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  12. Thanks, Rosemary. I appreciate the encouragement.

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  13. I agree Christine. And we have nice trails in our town but you have to drive to them. My brother is a cyclist and I can't believe he hasn't been hit yet!

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  14. Thanks, Jan. I do appreciate your comment and encouragement. In hindsight, I wish I had never had that surgery. I know it all needed fixing but I have had such fallout from it. I just wonder if a lot of it was overkill. The uterus was prolapsed and needed to come out but all the reconstruction? I shouldn't second guess the doctor but if I had been able to see the future I would have asked a lot more questions!

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  15. Thanks, Lisa. You are right and it's been years since I felt "normal." Thanks.

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  16. Prayers for you, Barbara. I'm so sorry that you're suffering and yet, you have the right attitude. Your sufferings are not wasted since you are the sort of person who unites them with Christ's own sufferings. It sounds like you have a wonderful uro/gyn so praise God for that! Keep asking questions. You have the right to information to help you make good decisions. *hugs*

    As for the bicyclists, I do not know. They sounds very foolish and disagreeable. I don't think you did anything wrong and you probably don't need to even give them another thought. Here's to a restful and peaceful weekend for you and your family.

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I appreciate your comments -- sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself!