the day before Thanksgiving, table not yet set
I had to run into the pharmacy today to pick up a prescription and the pharmacy tech who was on duty is a woman my husband knows (so she is very friendly to me). She asked if I am cooking tomorrow and we shared numbers of guests, who's cooking and all that jazz. She said it's so much work, and now her family just has a potluck and she roasts a turkey. I mentioned to her that it's really not all the cooking that takes so much time for me, but the getting the house ready, making sure all the best linens, china, silver, crystal are ready to go. She replied that her family just uses paper plates, and they eat in the garage so they can squirt it off later. She's a really nice woman, and I really am not judging her. We all do it differently and no way is more "right" than another.
But for me, for me, it's my mother's china, and my mother-in-law's stemware, the best linens, the candles in glass, the cornucopia, and turkey water pitcher that make this holiday so wonderful. I just wouldn't do it if I limited myself to paper plates and tables set up in the garage.
All I can say is, if you're not using something special for tomorrow's dinner...glasses that used to be on another woman's Thanksgiving table, china that someone else used to load with their huge Thanksgiving meal, linens that you washed and ironed for a loved one to wipe his mouth, a butter dish that you polished and shined just so someone else would feel that you went out of your way to make Thanksgiving special, I urge you to change the way you do it. It's the best part.
People are so very different. For my mom, it was always about the food. She does use her best dishes and fuss and clean a lot, but when I met Tom and went to his mom's Thanksgiving, it was all about the settings, the decorations (she has all new decorations, wall hangings, shelf stuff for each holiday) and not the food. I thought her food tasted terrible. I told Tom that first Thanksgiving we would go to my mom's for Thanksgiving and his parents for Christmas from that time on!! haha!!
ReplyDeleteNow, I love reading your list. BUT I don't have any of those things you listed, not one of them. We have no china or anything to polish or even nice linens. I do have a table cloth, I purchased for like $5, it's a pretty gold color. I have some Turkey decorations and a cornucopia....I saw flowers at the store today and they were $10 and I thought with Advent starting Sunday, it would be a waste of money to spend it for only a few days!!
I don't opt for the paper plates, but that's because I'm already doing a ton of dishes, what's a few more plates? I Do think my mom has switched to paper plates.
For some people it's the food, some it's the special touches, for some it's the people and family. For some it's just being thankful.
I think it's only about the food. We need to be thankful always. Not just on Thanksgiving.
I always love reading your posts!
Happy Thanksgiving Barbara, here's hoping you can take a big nap Friday!!
Barbara,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate and understand your perspective on this issue. My extended family thinks some of the things I do for the holidays are ridiculous, too fancy, or too much work, or whatever.
It took me a long time to realize that it was important for me - and that's the reason I do it - for me. I want the event/holiday to feel special - so I, too, enjoy going the extra mile.
And I stopped worrying about what people were saying and just decided to be me and hope they enjoy the special touches.
Happy Thanksgiving Barbara!
~Angela
P.S. Looking forward to seeing your set table!
ReplyDeleteI, too, feel strongly about the food for this holiday, Jamie. I wouldn't even think about serving less than my best. But, foremost, it's about being with the people I love, and giving them my best. The things you have are special to you -- the decorations your children made, for example -- as special as my mother's china. Maybe I should be ashamed that I love the "things" about the holiday. But, I don't put them above God!
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving, Jamie.
I feel the same way, Angela. My mother always gives me a hard time about cloth napkins and crystal that has to be hand washed. But, it's important to me, so I do it. And they do love a pretty table.
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving!
Yes! I couldn't agree with you more! We use my grandmothers china, glasses, gravy boat and silverware. And always use the special table linens. It just wouldn't be Thanksgiving without it for me. Not to mention that I use mine and my husbands family's recipes. I'm a *very* traditional person and I love immersing my own children in our family's history and traditions. A lot of my family has either passed away or lives out of state, so memories mean a great deal to me. It's a way for our loved ones to live on.
ReplyDeleteWe are going to my sister's today (we alternate years with my husband's family). When our grandmother passed away, my sister got the flatware. It's nothing valuable, but those are the same knives, forks and spoons we always used for holidays--and every day--at our grandmother's house. On Thanksgiving, that extra flatware is needed, and I always smile to remember our very special grandmother.
ReplyDeleteThat said, on the years when I cook, I just cook. I don't have the china/flatware or the inclination to set a gorgeous table. It would be a good job for my daughter, though--she has that artistic flair and can use simple things to make a place look pretty and festive.
Kelly, yes -- it's all about our own memories and creating new ones!
ReplyDeleteBarb, let that girl have at it. It's a win-win! Happy Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteChecking back! Barbara, don't be ashamed about the "things" I hope you didn't think I meant that!! Those things you have mean so much. I just don't have any of that. My mom's mom lives in California and I'm sure her youngest daughter will get her things, as she takes care of her, and my dad's mom has 10 kids, 7 of them girls, so her daughters get all that hand me down stuff...not the son's daughter...so I don't have anything special, wish I did.
ReplyDeleteI KNOW you put God first and I KNOW for you the food would be a give in that it's about the food too!! Just hearing your list makes my mouth water!
Happy Thanksgiving again!
Your table is going to look lovely, Barbara! And I am sure your meal will be delicious! I really love to set a pretty table, too. It's probably my favorite part. We will be using my grandmother's "good Sunday" dishes this year, and I am so excited! Her water glasses, too. And linens and a pretty centerpiece and place cards ... Yay!
ReplyDeleteA very happy and holy Thanksgiving to you and your entire family! I am grateful for you!
God bless!
Nothing ever that fancy goes on in this house for a few reasons: I don't have the nice stuff because we move all the bloody time and I would die inside if something so nice broke to bits in a move. Plus, there's no nice cabinet to store the nice stuff in (yet - maybe one day when we retire, but by then, I may just stick to using my every day dishes). I rarely entertain and I use all my wits to keep away from doing so, because I am just not that good at it. I'm nice and the food is wonderful (I can boast those), but my setting is less than wonderful - which I think may would overlook since I'm nice and the food is wonderful. LOL! But, I do agree with a clean house and having some flowers or something to say, "this isn't every day and you are special to us".
ReplyDeleteI miss having family around - 19 years w/out family gatherings can wear me down. It's harder and harder to celebrate the holidays, to be honest. We need to hurry up and retire, get a home, settle down, and get a real solid life. :)