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Do you know that when you don't answer your cell phone, the one that your wife knows you have clipped to your belt every moment that you are away from home, your sweet wife, who loves you so, imagines that you have been killed in a car accident by a drunk driver, have died from a brain aneurysm, have been robbed and killed at gunpoint, or one of eleven million other possible causes of death have befallen you?
And do you know that if you have one (or heaven forbid, a full 50 percent) of your children with you when you don't answer your cell phone, her level of anguish raises exponentially?
And did you know that if you don't answer your cell phone, and you wife needs to jump in the shower after a hot evening at a softball game, that she will imagine having to wrap her head in a towel to answer the door when the police come to inform her of your demise, something she most definitely does not want to do?
So, do yourself, and your sweet, loving wife a favor -- don't let it happen again.
Just in case you are wondering, it was in his golf bag where he said he couldn't hear it. I should have tried my son's phone since it was probably in his pocket.
And, yes, I know I need therapy.
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Love this. I have been there oh so many times. My husband thinks that it is rediculous of course. I can't begin to count the times I waited for the flashing lights down the driveway and planned a funeral.
ReplyDeleteI do this too!!! It's awful. If he doesn't answer it must be because he's dead. That's the only explanation. Last week he called me with the results of his last physical and thought it was funny to pretend he was dying. It was not funny.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this. I'm going to make him read it tonight. :)
well, all of this sounds perfectly rational to me. :)
ReplyDeleteof course, I once dreamed that Francie turned into a piece of coal and got tossed into a furnace, so maybe I'm not the best judge? ;)
Yes, yes, yes. Very perfectly normal, Barbara. I can completely relate.
ReplyDeleteMuch relating going on here.
ReplyDeleteThe funny thing is I NEVER felt this way until the minute that my husband and I got married. Before, I just assumed that he wasn't paying attention to my call. Now, surely something has gone wrong. Thanks for posting this, now I know I'm not alone1
ReplyDeleteI always have to assume mine is in a meeting in a building in which they have to surrender their cells upon entry.
ReplyDeleteYou know, Teresa, during the day I never think twice when he doesn't answer. He spends a lot of time in meetings, and so I assume that's where he is (unless he doesn't return calls for hours on end). But, in the evening, that's when I worry.
ReplyDeleteThe first time DH went out with the guys in the blissful beginnings of our marriage (the pre-cell phone days), he was extremely late and I called all of the ER's in town, asking if he was there.
ReplyDeleteSo, no, I have no idea what you're talking about.
;P
I had one of those nights, too, Meg. When he finally came home at 2 or 3 in the morning (and I had two little kids up in their beds) I was sitting on the porch in my nightgown. I think I had planned every detail of his funeral!
ReplyDeleteSo, so happy to read I'm not the only wife who does this...;)
ReplyDeletegive me the name of your therapist...would you please?
ReplyDeleteps. you are such a loving wife!
This totally cracked me up. I'm exactly the same. This morning he cycled to work and left an hour before I needed to leave to take the girls to school. One of his employees called about ten minutes after he should have arrived. I actually drove his whole route before the school run to make sure he wasn't in a ditch or something. So it's really good to know I'm not alone! :D
ReplyDeleteSo glad everything worked out ok this time! Love hurts!!
ReplyDeleteI laughed only because it IS so true (and you found out they were both ok after all)! My husband didn't answer and I panicked too, but we figured out later that he'd forgotten to turn his ringer up. Actually, I've done the same thing to him accidentally so I guess it evens out.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, recently, he called me to announce, "I lost Jonathan in the store." I nearly had a heart attack right there until he assured me that our three-year-old was fine and back safely with Daddy. I thank God for our Guardian Angels EVERY day! Sometimes, phone calls can cause panic too. ;)
In those pre-cell phone days, my husband had promised to be home by midnight. At 2 am, the police lights were flashing in our driveway. I waddled my 9 month pregnant self outside to receive THE news only to find the officer writing my husband a speeding ticket. I said something to the effect of "I thought you were dead, and now you'll wish you were". The officer tore up the ticket, saying "son, you're in more trouble here than I could give you."
ReplyDeleteI always jump to that scenario too. You are in good company judging by the number of comments!
hmmm...have a hubby myself...methinks, perhaps, he should read this!
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY relate--and my husband never brings his phone. When it rings, I answer it--at home, where I am standing, calling his phone. So I do a lot of imagining "what-if" and he doesn't get it when I get home.
ReplyDeleteHow about some therapy at Panera? ;) I'll join you.
:)
ReplyDeleteAnd that Panera therapy suggestion is a good one.
Yes, it is Karen. Let's all meet at Barb's Panera!
ReplyDelete