Last week I complained that I was having mixed feelings about blogging. I said blogging was leaving me feeling empty, it was unfulfilled time spent during my day, and I was truly thinking I should just stop.
I love my blogging friends like real friends. Most I have not met in person, but some I email with regularly and even speak to on the phone. They are as real as friends in my own community. But, like all mommies (that we mostly are) my blogging friends are busy and can't always stop to chat. That's just real life. Which often leaves me feeling, much like I often do talking to my own children -- like I'm talking to a brick wall. No response. It's gets tiresome. You know, I know you do.
But just as when I talk to my children and they don't respond, they do hear, and so do people, sometimes friends, sometimes strangers, read my words. And as unfulfilled as I feel, I do know they are listening, both my children and my readers.
But, in my selfishness, I was thinking about what I get out of it. "What are you doing for me?" I asked.
It took the kindness of a stranger for me to see that this, like everything else in my life, is not about me; it never has been.
One very sweet, total stranger (Hi, Gary!) sent me a very kind comment on my food blog. Looking for a recipe for a Chicken Pot Pie, Gary found me through Google and in his comment he said, "I just wanted to thank you for sharing your personal recipes, and more importantly your faith with others. I was born to a Jewish family, but I became a Christian about 12 years ago."
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Thank you, Gary, for reminding me that my life is not mine, but my Lord's. My time is not mine, but His, and should be spent, every moment, fulfilling His will, not mine.
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If any one loves the world, love for the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life, is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world passes away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides for ever. 1 John 2: 15-18
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Dearest Barbara... in the wonderful world of blog land, I can attest to the fact, you my dear friend are well loved. I love to read your every single post and though I am like one of your children who don't always respond, I am here, all the time in the wings thinking of you, praying for each of your days to be wonderfully blessed and can't help but keep on sending warm hugs your way. Love and Hugs! <3 <3
ReplyDeleteRenee,
ReplyDeleteYou are so, so kind -- we are kindred spirits miles and miles apart!
How wonderful, Barbara! God gave you an answer in the form of a stranger's words. That is so beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to how blogging can leave you feeling empty. I have felt very blessed to "meet" you and other lovely women "out there," but at times, I truly wish that you all lived here and were my friends IRL, not just via cyberspace. It's as if I can only know you all so much, but in my selfishness, it doesn't seem like enough. And that can feel a bit lonely still ... even though I am VERY grateful for this little blogging community.
But I love how you came to the realization that it's not always about what you get out of blogging. That really it could be more about what you are giving to those "out there," including me =) and also including many people who may never leave a comment ... That is a good lesson for all of us, when we start feeling weary of whatever we are doing (blogging, homemaking, teaching, mothering, etc.) It's not always about us, and we really may never know the impact that our work has. But as long as we're doing God's will, we can be assured of doing good, no matter how it "feels."
I am very blessed each time I visit your sites. You are inspiring and yet so down-to-earth, and I appreciate you so much. God bless you, Barbara!
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteYour honesty is so appreciated. You're a sweetheart.
How kind of Gary and how very sweet of Our Lord to inspire him to comment! I feel so badly about being unresponsive to you. I haven't been leaving comments on your posts as much just lately but you are very important to my life as you have provided much inspiration and hope to me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. May God bless you always. You and your family are in my prayers especially with this new law going into effect.
ReplyDeleteSo often when I am down, I know that I can come here and find the deep, quiet peace and calm I need with a Scripture or prayer to help me focus on my faith. Thank you so much, Barbara. I'm here, so I'll try to comment more, but sometimes I just need to take your posts away with me to meditate on them for a while. Love and prayers, Rosemary
ReplyDeleteEllen,
ReplyDeleteNo, no, no! I don't want you to feel badly. This is about me knowing that His will is the center of this world, not mine.
truthfinder,
Please, please don't change anything. I am at peace with this. If you feel called to comment, that's beautiful. Otherwise, just soak it up. :-)