I don't post all of my Good Reads reviews here, but this book made a huge impact. It was a tough one to get through, but I'm glad I read it.
The Kindness of Strangers by Katrina Kittle
My review
rating: 5 of 5 stars
I have been trying for days to think of what to say about this book. When I started it, I could see the subject matter was going to make it difficult to get through. Actually, I had a hint from a friend as to why it might be difficult. I wasn't caught off guard and that's a good thing. I don't like surprises.
When I began, though, I thought that reading this book would be like watching a train wreck. Awful, but you can't pull your eyes away. Instead, I found it was like watching a train wreck from inside the train. A close personal glimpse at something awful, but riveting. This story is not a true story, but it is. I'm sure it's many true stories of children who are sexually abused by their parents. Sexual abuse at the hands of a parent is probably the most horrifying experience imaginable, and reading about it was very painful at times. Most of the scenes are not graphic, but some are. Yet, I couldn't put the book down. The characters were real, your next door neighbor, the woman you see helping out at school, your son's best friend's mother. Their emotion is real; I felt I was there, with them, watching in person.
I can't say that this is a book that should be read by everyone, but it was very enlightening for me. I think most parents would benefit from reading it. Sexual abuse is widespread in this country and I don't think most people are careful enough about who their children spend time with. This book is a wake up call, it was at least for me. I've always been careful about who my children spend time with. I don't allow sleepovers, I prefer they bring their friends to our home. But, still, I could see this happening in my innermost circle, without ever knowing about it.
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Wow, I don't think I want to read the book...I don't want those images in my head...I still have the Transformers images there! haha!
ReplyDeleteWe are very careful with our children, but have to admit, it's hard when I have to leave the kiddos for all these doctor appts. I think we have good people, but I worry things like would they tell me? How would I know? Would I see the signs?
We do not allow sleepovers either, and almost everyone I know does!! It's hard to explain and with my Katherine turning 7 Sunday, I'd love to give in and have her have a friend stay over, but then it need to be reciprocated (sp?) and I'm not willing to allow her to spend the night anywhere!
After reading your review, I'm not giving in, STILL no sleepovers!
The most likely outcome of sleepovers are grumpy kids the next 48 hours. NOT WORTH IT. I rarely allowed my kids to sleepover . . . and vice versa. I do not like to look at everyone and think they are monsters any more than I'd like to think they may think the same of me. It's just easier to establish the no sleep over policy from the start to avoid all the nasty feelings. Nothing more has to be said about it.
ReplyDeleteI always used the "grumpy kids" excuse and it always worked.
I think you are taking a very wise approach to be very careful with your children. Unfortunately, we trusted a highly respected teacher with our 9-year-old severely retarded son to his detriment. Apparently, she sexually molested all the little boys in her special education class daily. We only found out a couple of years later when talking about secrets. Our son said he had a "secret" - and out tumbled the information. After that, we taught him that the word "secret" meant something special to tell Mommy and Daddy right away.
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed a shock when you find out that the very people who are supposed to be protecting your children are the ones who are harming them. I am glad that my children are now grown, but I worry about my grandchildren. (I think it is very helpful that my daughter-in-law is a stay-at-home mom and volunteers in our son's schoolroom.)
As a victim myself of the worst kind of abuse, I say bravo to you, Jamie and Sarah, for your super efforts to protect your children. All children should have such parents!
Blessings,
Beth
I also read this book this week. It was tough to read but tougher to put down. And SO tragic to think that, yes, it's fiction but there are so many children for whom it's a very real nightmare.
ReplyDeleteJamie and Sarah,
ReplyDeleteWe are obviously on the same page on this issue. Unfortunately I am even having issues lately leaving my daughter in the care of any one other than maybe grandmas and grandpa. She has a birthday party to attend tomorrow, at the child's home, and I'm just not sure I can leave her for two hours. Probably because she's a girl, but maybe just because I know better the risk than I did when my boys were her age.
Elizabeth,
Thank you for commenting. I am so sorry to hear your story. Like I said in my review, I know it happens. And though it's a fictitious story, it's true. So, so sad.
Barb,
Are you glad you read it, even though it was hard?