Yesterday I did something I have almost never done. I called my husband at work and cried. Please tell me you've done that before.
I had been online trying to refill some prescriptions from our mail order prescription service and found out that all of our family's prescriptions were deleted from our account when our insurance changed. Our prescriptions were gone. And I had no way of getting some of them back because the docs who wrote them are not covered under our new insurance. When Doug switched jobs this summer we lost four of our doctors and have not established relationships with new ones yet. Faced with having to do that, pronto, and the frustration of spending over 30 minutes arguing with the mail order prescription service, I was at the end of my rope and barely hanging on.
I called Doug at work just to tell him that he would have to call his doctor and get a new prescription for his Nexium, and tried to be a big girl, but ended up crying. Fortunately, he connected me with a HR person, and while the situation really did not get resolved, I at least ended up laughing with her about how I surely had made my husband's morning so great by weeping into the phone to him.
I find myself being very weepy these days. I'm sure it's emotions about other issues coming out sideways, but I just never know when the tears are going to start -- it's all very sudden. I know I'm still feeling sad about Jill, and worried about my own health, and the welfare of my college baby. I'm feeling very tense about this election and the future of our economy, unsure about the future of my husband's career, and our own finances. There's much to worry about these days, isn't there? I suppose that consciously I think I have contained all of these worries in their right place and right time, but subconsciously they are all as mixed up and contained as an ooey gooey mud pie.
The only thing on my side is that I can still laugh at myself, even if it is through tears.
Last night when it was time for college boy to check in with mom, I got my little "Hi mom =-P" message right at 10 p.m.
I texted him right back, "Hi babes. How was your day?" And then waited. Nothing
I texted again, "Hi honey. You there?" Nothing.
Of course I started worrying (it took like 2.8 seconds for worry to kick in), and then started silently weeping, but decided to put on my funny face and texted him, "O.k. If you don't want to talk to me I'm going to go cry myself to sleep."
Ten seconds after I sent that text my phone rang -- not a text -- a call. I pressed the green button to connect and it was my boy. He was laughing because he was out in the hall talking with some friends and just didn't hear the tone telling him I had texted him. He was laughing because he knew his silly mom probably was going to cry if she didn't hear from him. He knows me well. But, it was all good then and hearing him laugh made my day.
What's that saying? "Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone."
I'm hanging on to my sense of humor -- it may be all I have left.
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How about replacing that ooey gooey mud pie with an ooey gooey butter cake? :) That's what I'll be doing today!
ReplyDeleteI'll also be praying for a friend in Ohio whom I love and who's been weepy.
Happy feast of the Guardian Angels! Don't be sad today! You are loved and it will be okay. As my mom used to say, "I've read the last page and I know how it turns out."
Oh, my good, good, Minnesota friend, an ooey gooey cake sounds wonderful. Will you join me?
ReplyDeleteAnd I love that quote from your mom. I would really like to know Mrs. Margaret's mom.
Hugs and Prayers for you, Barbara - you've had alot on your plate thus summer/early fall - I would be weepy too - and agree, the prescription/doctor thing would have put me over the edge. It will get better! :)
ReplyDeleteBarbara, be assured there are other weepy mamas out here coping as best they can. Everything comes when it comes, in due time, and this too shall pass. We have medical woes plenty here and like you, there sure are days! Last night the for sale sign went up on our property due to medical stuff, not fun at all. Today I will sniff along with you, tears ready to spill at a moment's notice. We can send one another tissues and hugs via cyberspace, right? God Bless you!!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure you are weeping alone. There's a whole lot of compassion inside these little computers.
ReplyDeleteLots of love and hugs for you.
Here's some prayers from another weepy mama out there! Want to join me for a Milky Way break?
ReplyDeleteCheryl,
ReplyDeleteThank you for saying you would have gone over the edge, too. That makes me feel better.
And, yes, this too shall pass (I hope!).
Renne,
ReplyDeleteToday I will count my blessings instead of my sorrows and offer up my problems for you. I'm a wimp compared to you.
Jennie,
ReplyDeleteThe compassion here keeps me human some days.
Barb, When and where? I'll be there.
ReplyDeleteI cry into the phone ALL THE TIME. Seriously. My poor husband never knows what he's going to get when he answers a call from me at work. And prescription/insurance junk is enough to make anyone weepy.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, my friend, I'm praying for you :)
My dh has gotten really good at dealing with a weepy wife over the phone these last 19 years. :o) I'll keep you in my prayers!
ReplyDeletein high school a friend used to sing...and you have to do it out loud in a purposefully out of tune, hurt your ears tone "it's alright to cry, crying takes the sad out of you, it's alright to cry"
ReplyDeleter
Well, Barb, now I'm crying! It's hard isn't it? The way your heart stays tied in knots even when they manage to slip out of the apron strings?
ReplyDeleteLast night my girl was out late. I went to bed, knowing that she would check in as usual when she came in. I awoke in panic at 5:30 this morning with the realization that I hadn't talked to her. I checked the sink...it was dry. She goes to work at 4:30 a.m. and it didn't seem she'd brushed her teeth. I checked her room. Her steel-toed boots were on the shelf. Panic!!! Texting quickly, I receive the confirmation that, yes, she's safe and yes she'd made it home last night. She brushed her teeth in the other sink and opted out of the boots. She tells me I spoke to her and told her I loved her. I have no memory...apparently dead to the world and talking in my sleep as well!
Ah, well. It doesn't seem to matter how much they grow up...we still worry. My mother assures me that she still can't sleep at night when she knows I'm traveling home or when she hears reports of serious weather in our area.
Such is a mother's love...
There was the time that the cat died. In the living room. Before breakfast. It was the middle of the week, and hubby worked in another state and only came home on weekends. Not that I would have made him come home from work to move the body if he worked locally. At least I don't think so. And I think the kids would have accidentally stepped on her.
ReplyDeleteBut crying on the phone made me feel better and helped me "gird my loins" for the task at hand. Crying on the phone to husbands happens quite often around here I'm afraid.
Aimee, Wendy, Michelle,
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you. I was hoping someone else would 'fess up.
Regina,
ReplyDeleteI think I'd have to see that in order to copy it. ;-)
Kimberly,
These kids, they don't know what they do to us. I think this is why parents hope for serious pay back one day.
{{{Barbara}}} I remember when I was pregnant with our third child. We were stationed in Hawai'i and I didn't know many people yet. My husband was TDY (temporary duty) for 3 months in Texas. I remember calling him, in tears, feeling overwhelmed with life.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you friend.
Awww, lots of hugs Barbara!!
ReplyDeleteI got teary just reading your post.
Praying for you... :)
elaine