Surviving Christmas

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Last week my Seton newsletter arrived. I always enjoy looking through it and especially enjoy Ginny Seuffert's articles. This month was special treat since, as usual, she really spoke to me and I needed a talk. Since I know all my friends here don't enroll with Seton, I thought I would share with you Ginny's wonderful advice on managing this season.

Surviving Christmas
by Ginny Seuffert

Sometimes it seems like the work is never ending in our big Catholic families. Mom has the first quarter under her belt, and the home schooling is clipping alone nicely. BANG! Along comes the Christmas season, doubling the work load and halving the amount of class time. It’s more than a little discouraging. For many years I have seriously competed with Ebenezer Scrooge and the Grinch to see if I can be crabbier during Christmas than they are known to be. Most years I think I win. Now mind you, I am ashamed of myself, and struggle each year to keep Christmas a joyous and holy day and not just another reason for Mom to work even harder than usual shopping and entertaining. Here are some ideas I have tried to ease the stress during Christmas past that might work for your family.

A big part of Catholic family life is family togetherness and Christmas is an ideal opportunity for families and friends to share good times and build lasting memories. On the other hand, mom is dreading the very thought of having guests over because she lacks the time to spic and span the house, or cook food that is fit for company. Can anything be done?

Although I give public lectures on home management, I still say that we Catholic moms have to put the state of our homes in proper perspective. I have often remarked to my husband on the way to a visit that “I just can’t wait to see John and Mary and catch up. It’s been such a long time.” I have no memory of ever saying, “I am so excited to get a chance to check under their couch for dust bunnies.” Our guests come to see us, not our homes. Very few of us are casual enough to invite our friends over to a home with unmade beds and a sticky kitchen floor, but on the other hand, it is not necessary to paint the walls, or buy a new couch before issuing invitations. Straighten up, mop, vacuum, dust, buy some nice-smelling Christmas potpourri, and get the kids in gear.

I have found that one of the few times my kids are enthusiastic about cleaning is when company is coming. Often they are actually excited to polish silverware or set a really formal table. Let them help plan and put up the holiday decorations. They may surprise you with the lovely job they do, and are far more likely to keep the house tidy if their own handiwork is being showcased.

Holiday menus do not have to be a big deal either, and need not involve planning and cooking a sit-down dinner. A terrific and relatively inexpensive way to entertain is to host a late morning brunch after church. Buy some bagels, muffins or doughnuts; add a fruit tray, and serve coffee, tea, and juice. If friends and relatives offer to bring something, agree immediately. Most people—including me—tote only their best baked goods, so generally these offered foods are a real treat.

Really close friends and relatives can plan a pot luck dinner so that no one household has to bear the financial or the work burden of hosting a large get-together. Again, as most families only have to supply one or two dishes, Mom will usually make her best recipes and the holiday spread will be top shelf.

If you want to entertain in the evening, and do not feel close enough to your guests to suggest a pot luck dinner, consider hosting an after-dinner wine and cheese party. Slice up a few varieties of cheese, serve them with crackers and add a veggie platter with ranch dressing dip. If you have a finished basement or family room, you might want to allow your children to plan a kid party for the same time. They can prepare their own menu of treats and soda pop, and maybe that will keep them busy for a couple of hours.

One home schooling Mom I know adds an interesting touch to her yearly holiday party for families. The children perform by playing musical instruments, singing, dancing, or even reciting poetry. Naturally, as the audience consists of parents, we are very appreciative of this talent show and a good time is had by all.

Right now, some of you may be thinking that all this entertainment advice is well and good, but you are so busy shopping and wrapping that you don’t have time to cook nightly dinner, much less plan a party. I must admit that I really resent how I have somehow allowed my family to get sucked into the big commercial extravaganza that Christmas has become in the United States. Like many parents, I lack the courage to be counter-cultural if that means my children will be disappointed when they look under the tree. With grandchildren arriving all the time, the problem is only compounded. Recognizing my own shortcomings, I probably should not give out advice in this area, but nevertheless, here are a few ideas that might save time and trouble:

• Order on the Internet, especially if you send gifts out of town. It can be pricey, but your time and trouble are worth something too.

• For older children, consider purchasing (on the Internet, if possible) tickets to performances or sports events as Christmas gifts. These have the added benefit of encouraging family closeness through shared experiences.

• Shared family gifts (like a new TV) or a vacation have not worked out well for our family because little kids love to unwrap their own gifts and parents enjoy watching them do it. Consider related “theme” gifts you can buy in one store to save you from having to shop so much, and that encourage the children to play together. For example if you have a couple of younger daughters, buy each one a baby doll. Then one daughter gets a dolly high chair and stroller, and the other a doll carriage and crib.

• Try to buy board games that encourage family togetherness and not video games that the children play by themselves.

• In place of purchasing many gifts for each person, buy fewer but nicer gifts that you know the recipient will really enjoy. This translates into less shopping and wrapping for you and is not necessarily more expensive.

• I am always able to find gifts at a book store. Seton provides a fiction and non-fiction reading list by grade at the end of the reading lesson plan and in the “Parent Resources” section of our website. Naturally, you can always trust a Seton recommendation to be wholesome, and you can even purchase some of the books from Seton Educational Media. My kids enjoyed “how-to” books like junior cookbooks, or sketch books that are available in most book stores.

Of course, the most important thing to remember, and what can easily become lost in the flurry of shopping, wrapping and decorating, is that Christmas is primarily a religious celebration. As we shop for one another, let’s remember to give to those less fortunate than ourselves. Let’s make sure that the Nativity Set is given a real place of honor in our homes and perhaps say family prayers near it. One lovely seasonal meditation, that Blessed Mother Teresa used to suggest, involves the search that St. Joseph made to find a safe warm place for the Blessed Virgin to give birth. If that night was right now, and if our home was in Nazareth, could we invite the Holy Family in? Would they enter a cheerful household marked by kindness and mutual affection, or would we be too ashamed of our sharp words and unkind behavior to invite them in? Scripture reports that when the pagans saw the early Christians, they marveled, “See how they love one another!” This Christmas, may the same be said for each one of us.

Reprinted from the December 2007 Seton Home Study School Newsletter
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