On Forgiveness

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Sunday morning around here was a disaster. Our mood was reflected by the dark, dreary, rainy skies. We seem to have trouble on Sunday mornings. Maybe Satan planting his ugly seed amongst us? Maybe just too much college football on Saturdays (maybe college football is Satan's ugly seed).

I was fixing breakfast -- just waffles and sausage before we went to noon Mass (maybe we need to go to early Mass and avoid the tension). Peach asked for chocolate chips on her waffle, not an uncommon request, but I said, "no." Mostly I said no because I didn't want her to overdo the sweets and get a stomachache before Mass. She accepted the no calmly. However, Francis was up next for waffles and had not heard Peach's request and answer and when he was told no, he flipped out. Well, not exactly flipped out, but he argued. First was "why?" (which I refused to answer, because I'm the mother and should not be questioned) and then "this is ridiculous." And then, "fine, I'm not eating."

It got ugly. I yelled. He yelled. He stomped off. I refused to eat, also, because I was upset.

Now, you're probably thinking that this was a very stupid exchange. It was. I was being stubborn because I'm the mother. He was being stubborn because he was being denied something he normally can have, for no apparent reason. It certainly could have been avoided with a little less stubbornness.

But, gosh darn it, I wanted some blind obedience. I wanted "yes, mother." And that's it. Part of me was upset because my Francis usually is blindly obedient. Where the heck was this coming from? Was this teenage rebellion rearing its head?

So, we all went upstairs and stomped around getting ready for Mass (how's that for readying our souls for Christ?). Then we piled in the car and (I mostly) glared out the windshield for the 30-minute trip. Then we went into Mass and, since I was stuck sitting next to Francis, I folded my hands and looked straight ahead (have I mentioned that I am German and we can be really stubborn?) It wasn't until about halfway through Mass that I started to relax and forget about it. Then after Holy Communion I decided to let it go.

But then, I started to think about how many times we do the same thing to God. We make choices that clearly are not God's choice for us. Or when we can't get what we want we rail against Him and curse Him. How must He feel? Our offenses to God are so much worse than a child's offense to his mother, yet God never holds it against us. He forgives as soon as our hearts turn toward him.

Yesterday Fr. Philip wrote about forgiveness. About not being "offendable" to others. Take a minute and read it. I love it!

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