Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:6-7



Sunday, October 01, 2017

A New Start


Ebb and flow, ebb and flow. Those two words have been on my heart for weeks now. I thought this blog was finished. My life was too full to talk about it, at least too full to sit down and have a complete thought, to write a coherent sentence.

A few weeks ago, however, I learned I would not be continuing my job part time. When I started working in the spring, our plans were that I would watch baby part time and work part time, but as things turned out, part time was not enough -- baby needs all of me.

But, I guess I should back up because the last time I posted here, a baby had not yet been born, and that is the subject of today's post.

A dear friend nudged me back into writing. She challenged me to Write for 31 Days. Each day has a prompt that I can use or not, as I so desire. Today's prompt is "Your Most Memorable Moment." Well, my memory is garbage -- I don't have very vivid memories of a lot of my life, just flashes like a slideshow on fast forward. Of course, I remember my wedding, the birth of each child, and some other events, some of which are very sad. But my most recent "Most Memorable Moment" was the day my very first grandchild was born, on July 21.

When the time for the baby to be born came close we decided not to wait at the hospital while our daughter-in-law labored, rather wait until they were settled and had caught their collective breath. We knew, however, that our daughter-in-law was in labor when we went to bed on July 20. Early in the morning on July 21 we got a phone call from my son saying, "I can see his head! Come now!"

We woke Faith, dressed and drove to the hospital, getting a phone call (I think we were on the road) saying he had been born, our sweet Maximilian Paul (named after St. Maximilian Kolbe). We arrived at the waiting room and after our daughter-in-law's mother saw her daughter and baby Max, my son came to bring me to the room -- only one person at a time in labor and delivery. When I entered the room the nurse was getting my daughter-in-law ready to move to her post-partum room, but my son lifted his son from his mother's arms and placed him in mine and I experienced the most magnificent love one can experience on this earth.

I had been told by other grandparents, for at least the nine months of the pregnancy, how wonderful it would be to be a grandmother, and I believed it, but I was completely unprepared for the overpowering love I felt for that baby the moment he was placed in my arms. Here in my arms was my son's son, my first grandchild -- something my own father never lived long enough to experience. I was overwhelmed by the tremendously deep and immediate love I felt for him. What a joy! What a gift from God!

There is a Welsh saying, "Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild."

That saying is so true. 

I have always loved my children with unconditional love, but this love, this love is so different. It is deep and wide and I often feel as if my heart could truly just burst for love of this darling boy. I know I will love all of my grandchildren the same, but the memory of the birth of this first will never fade, because it began with love.





Maximilian Paul
Born July 21, 2017







20 comments:

  1. Love this! I have so enjoyed seeing your photos of Max. He is a very blessed little boy, to have so much love in his life. You are a very blessed grandmother to have such a sweet little boy upon whom to lavish love.

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    1. Thanks, Barb. He is a very well-loved little boy. I've often thought how fortunate he is -- in the best ways. Not fortunate with riches, but with people who dearly love him.

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  2. Thanks for writing. That was just so beautifully said. I cannot wait for my arms to hold a babe again! Your family is so blessed. I am so happy for you all. I still love the blanket you made me for Ava.

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    1. Thank you, Christine. It's well worth the wait!

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  3. I hope you will still be my friend after 31 days 😁

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  4. This is such a beautiful post, Barbara. Although I can’t imagine loving grandchildren so much more than I love these children of mine! But I will remember this. ��

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    1. I couldn't have imagined either, Jennie, which is why is caught me completely by surprise.

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  5. Just beautiful Barb. I also can't imagine loving anyone more than my children! Maybe, after many years of having our hearts broken open by our children, by the time our grandchildren come along we are just better at loving. :)

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    1. I don't know, Melanie. It's such a different love. I didn't give birth to this baby, it's just my privilege to love him. I don't have to raise him, just love him to pieces.

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  6. I. Can't. Wait. I'm so jealous! I expect part of the specialness of grandchildren is that you're not the one responsible for how they turn out. That eases a lot of the weight! I'm glad to see you writing again---maybe you'll tell us why you're not going back to work. :-) Or is that just Max?

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    1. Shortly after Josh and Taylor were married, Joshua asked me if I would watch their children. Of course, that was before Doug lost his job. I said "yes" because my mom did it for me and I couldn't imagine a grandchild going to daycare. When I started my job earlier this year, Josh was working a four 10-hour-day job, two of which were during the week and two were weekend days. When the baby was born we planned for me to go to three days at the law firm and Josh would care for him on the other two. The division of the company that Josh worked for was bought and they were all "reduced." The job he landed at is 5 week days, so Doug and I made the decision that I would quit. It was hard --- I got used to the schedule, the extra income was great, and I enjoyed my co-workers, but family comes first.

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  7. Welcome back! And what a beautiful post to get started with!

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  8. Congratulations! What wonderful news! I was stalking your blog over the summer to see when the baby was due. Thank you for sharing a beautiful story and picture. Thank you also for writing again.

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  9. <3 I can FEEL your love and joy through your writing. So exciting. It is hard for me to imagine, as I am still in the exhausted phase of motherhood!

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    1. I could not have imagined it and I was ready for it! To every thing there is a season. Enjoy the one you're in!

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  10. So sweet. Thank you for sharing.

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  11. Isn't being Grandma the best ever!!! Just love, love, love...and you are so lucky and blessed that you are able to babysit him. He is adorable!!

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I appreciate your comments -- sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself!