Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:6-7



Friday, March 04, 2016

It's a lonely business



When life gives you oranges and limes....


I apologize, my friends, for not coming here and confiding in you sooner. The last couple of weeks have been very difficult, and I have been very alone, except for some immediate family, and a few close friends.

The lonely business is I speak of is...unemployment.

Two days after surgery on my foot (almost three weeks ago), my husband came home in the afternoon with a look on his face that betrayed the reason he had come home early. He had been fired. As I was resting comfortably on the sofa with my foot wrapped in an ice pack, creating a rosary on my lap, he could not have surprised me more had he slapped me (my husband does not slap me). I think my heart stopped for a minute or two -- at least it felt that way.

I thank God that in 30 years of marriage we have never had to deal with unemployment. That fact, however, doesn't make it any easier right now.

I can't divulge much (because we're still trying to negotiate a severance) except that he was the vice president of a Catholic university, and his dismissal was not, at all, handled in a Christ-like manner. We still do not know why he was fired, and as Ohio is an at-will state, one can be fired for any reason, or none at all. We're still reeling from him being fired, so there is a lot of "gunk" running through our heads every waking hour of the day (of which there are more than there used to be), and as we're still in a resolution state of mind, we think a lot about what went wrong (and haven't come up with many answers).

Looking forward, or trying to, we recognize that my husband has been a fundraiser in the same city for 30 years and has a lot of friends in the Catholic community in this town. That means he really doesn't want to move -- the first step in fund-raising in friend-raising -- but, after 30 years, there aren't any positions locally at his level of qualification.

The loneliness I refer to has come from the sudden absence of some of our oldest friends. I am stunned that the phone doesn't ring, no emails or texts, just...crickets. I know it's a difficult situation to acknowledge to someone, just like death and illness, but absence is of no comfort at all. I feel as though we have the plague and our friends have headed for the hills for fear of catching it.

That, my friends, is why I am disclosing our hardship. I rely on you, my long-distance, but not runaway companions, to support me, encourage me, and most of all, pray for us.












64 comments:

  1. Barbara....you have my support and my prayers. This happened to us last year. My husband had been with our diocese for 20 years....20 years of dedicated service....they let him go. We were devastated. The wound is still sore, but it is healing. Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Nancy. Yes, the fact that it is our Church, to whom we give our best, makes it a lot harder.

      Delete
  2. Oh, dear Barbara! I'm so sorry. Wish there something more I could do, besides pray, but I will do that. It's such a blow, I know. Turns your whole world upside down. Is early retirement an option? A sort of blessing in disguise? Lots of love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your prayers, Jennie. No, unfortunately early retirement is not an aption -- not with a 14-year-old around.

      Delete
  3. I am shocked Barbara...I am lifting you up in prayer!! How can I help? I will be calling you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Janelle. I missed your call -- cooking dinner. So sorry. I left you a message on FB but maybe you didn't get it. I'll email you.

      Delete
  4. Always always. Praying hard.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh Barbara.You have my prayers. Share your etsy link on FB so we can share it far and wide!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's there, Kara. I shared some new listings lately so just look on my profile.

      Delete
  6. Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. I will be keeping you in prayer!

    ReplyDelete
  7. The abandonment by your friends has to hurt the most. I'm shocked for you! Praying for everything to be resolved as quickly as possible. How is the foot?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right, Sara. It does.

      The foot is so-so. I got the stitches out this week but the doctor said it's still swollen so I've been trying to keep it up. Doug being home during the day has thrown our days off so I didn't rest as planned. Things have been pretty chaotic. Yesterday it was hurting a lot and I was terrified that it was infected -- the university terminated our insurance until Doug signs the severance agreement. Nice, huh? But I iced it and it's a little better today.

      Delete
  8. Oh, Barbara, I'm so very sorry! Sometimes Lent arrives on a silver platter of sorts. This exquisite hurt, just for you. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Like Sara, I am amazed your 'friends' have fled. That makes no sense. And ouchouchouch.
    Hang on, sister. Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11
    Again, I'm so sorry. Prayers! It's also the month of March. Ite ad Joseph!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it's Lent with all capital letters! Next year I'm going to hide under the bed for the duration. I'm hanging on, by my fingernails! And, yes, St. Joseph hear us!

      Delete
  9. Oh, Barbara! I'm so sorry! I'll be praying for you and your family! {{{hugs}}}

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh, no....I'm so sorry and ache for you both....I will be praying and lifting your family up....St Joseph, head of the Holy Family, please help this family!

    Big (((hugs))) and prayers....

    PS hope your foot is better??!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Jamie. We are invoking St. Joseph and St. Cajetan --patron of the unemployed.
      My foot is getting better. Still in the big shoe.

      Delete
  11. Jesus knows how you feel as His closest friends deserted him as well. You are in our prayers as you go through this difficult time. You are not alone!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh gosh, what a difficult time for you both. I can imagine the hurt your husband is going through at being laid off after all the work he has put in, and for you, not having the comfort of kind words from friends.
    Perhaps this is to be an extra penitential Lent for you.
    It amazes me every day that our God knows us inside out and has plans for us always.
    Rest assured you have our prayers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is definitely an extra-penitential Lent, Kelly! And your words are wise. Only God knows what we need (and in the words of Blessed Mother Teresa -- I just wish he didn't trust me so much!).

      Delete
  13. Oh Barbara, I am so sorry. Praying.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Prayers for your, husband and family. St Joseph intercede for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. He is hearing from me regularly! Let's pray for a job by his feast day, so we can really feast!

      Delete
  15. Dear Barbara! I am so sorry! Sorry for the situation and for the feeling of abandonment. You have my prayers and love, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Replies
    1. Thanks, Michelle. Wish we lived closer so I could have a real one!

      Delete
  17. I feel so badly for you, Barbara. That sort of thing is very painful. I prayed for you last night --the Rosary you gave me. I will keep praying for you.xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Gwen. I have wanted to email you all week and our days have been so disrupted by Doug being home that school goes on and on. I will try to get to it this weekend. And thank you for your prayers!

      Delete
  18. Barbara:
    I'm so sorry you and your family are facing this.
    Like others, I will pray for you and yours.
    Sending a warm hug to you.
    Thanks for all you do.
    Gail

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the prayers,Gail, and the hug. :-)

      Delete
  19. Oh no! I sometimes think about the "what if" of this. I cannot imagine how shocking the reality of it would be!! I will be praying too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pretty shocking, Anne. Thank God for your husband's job -- something I'll be doing every day as soon as he gets one. Thank you for your prayers.

      Delete
  20. I will pray for you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Barbara, I am so sorry about the loss of your husband's job, as well as for the feelings of loneliness you are experiencing. These situations are so difficult, and the support of family and friends is vital. We need each other! I am glad you reached out online, and I hope our prayers and messages are consoling you and your family in some way. Last week, we were on vacation, and you kept popping into my mind. I thought it was because I needed to contact you about First Communion rosaries for my twins. But perhaps it was because I needed to pray for you, which I will do in an extra-special way ... Prayers for a wonderful new job for your husband, and in the meantime, may God bless you with much peace and provision.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Holy Spirit does that to me frequently -- nudges me in one direction or another. I'm glad He's looking out for me. Thank you for the prayers. They are very much needed.

      Delete
  22. I'm so sorry this happened, Barbara. Life certainly has a way of throwing us curve balls, to say the least. I know things are going to work out for you, but right now it's hard to see your way clear. And, yes, you do have friends! Look at how many people have commented so far and are praying for you and your husband! It's just a shame that we're separated by geography. Please know that I'm adding my prayers to those of your other friends. Hold on tight!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Holding tight, Marie. Yes, it's been a wild ride. One I want no part of ever again. Thank you for your prayers!

      Delete
  23. Oh my...so many prayers! So very sorry this has happened to your family. Hugs and know that you are in my daily prayers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. From your mouth to God's ears, my dear. I almost emailed you, but I know your prayer card is pretty full right now. Thank you.

      Delete
  24. Wow. I can imagine the shock you felt. Your family is in my thoughts. I know you must take comfort in finding the new path that He has for your family. I am certain it will be something wonderful that you never knew you wanted or needed until it happens.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish I was as optimistic as you, but I appreciate your positive thinking!

      Delete
  25. Oh, Barbara! I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of employment, the unknown you are currently in that is forcing you to trust in Jesus more so than ever, and the feeling of abandonment. I am so glad you could tell your friends here. Know that I will be adding you all to our prayer list and will start with a novena to St. Joseph. Hang in there, Barbara. I do wish there were more I could say. Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Patty. I'm running to Our Blessed Mother and relying heavily on Jesus for comfort, but I am so glad that my friends here are true friends. Wish we could have an in-person hug!

      Delete
  26. Praying for you and your family!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh Barbara! I hope you are still recovering well from your surgery and are healing well. I am sorry about your husband's unemployment. I pray that you realize how much you are loved and cherished during this extremely difficult trial. May God's light show the way to you and your husband as you travel this new road. You and your family are in my prayers as the new job presents itself. I know it sounds trite, but "Let go and let God" always sustains. Hang in there - Beth

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope my foot is healing well, Beth. Sometimes it really hurts and I wonder if it's not healing well. As the proverbial sh*t hit the fan on day 2 I feel I was up on my foot much more than I should have been. But there's nothing I can do about that now. Trying to "let go and let God." Easier said than done. ;-)

      Delete
  28. Oh Barbara - how awful to have to go through this. You will all be in my prayers. I will be adding you and your husband to my St. Joseph novena.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your prayers, Mary. They are everything right now.

      Delete
  29. I am so sorry to hear of this situation. I will be praying for God to lead ya'll where He wants ya'll to be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He shall lead, will we follow?...stay tuned. It's so hard to know when it's God leading or our heads!

      Delete
  30. Prayers for you and your dear family. So sorry!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I'm so sorry... I haven't been able to check all my blog buds lately, so I missed this and had to scroll back to see what was going on. These are trying times indeed!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Oh boy. :( I am behind on my blogs, clearly. I'm so sorry. My stomach just twisted. My husband got fired once a couple of years ago from a job/field he dearly loved. It still hurts him. Such a betrayal to get fired from a place you felt an attachment to, to a job you thought you were doing well. Any leads yet? Praying for you all.

    ReplyDelete

I appreciate your comments -- sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself!