Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:6-7



Wednesday, June 24, 2015

All Grace



"When you lean on grace, you surrender control, and that's not very appealing to many people, including Christians." 
Dave Burchett, Stay




When my son Joshua and his girlfriend Taylor became engaged, after three years of dating, starting in high school, we were very happy for them. It's wonderful knowing that a child, your child, has found the right person to be with for life. When Taylor converted to Catholicism, we were even happier. I think most of us will agree that the fewer issues a couple has that can become points of contention, the better. Taylor and Joshua are both pretty laid back, they rarely fight, and when one has an issue, the other is likely to give in, let it go. They are really one of the most perfect couples, as the compliment each other so well.

So, thoughts of a wedding ahead were fun, though we all, well most of us, agreed that with a wedding date two years away meant we were in no hurry to get the items on the checklists crossed off. The mother of the bride was anxious to get the ball rolling, but as the mother of the groom, I really felt my roll was to be cooperative and shut up. You know the old saying, "Wear beige and keep your mouth shut"? I admitted from the get-go that I was not very good at either -- I never wear beige, and I have been known to put my two-cents in rather frequently. I'm a mom. We do that.

Josh and Taylor decided they would be married at his high school, in the Mother of Mercy chapel, a "perk" available only to alumni (where Doug and I were also married). The school has a gorgeous Commons as well, which I proudly admit my husband raised the money to build. It is formerly the courtyard of the school, but when they built it, they closed in the wings of the building with an added a fourth wing (which is why in pictures it looks like the walls are the exterior of the building -- they used to be). It's three stories high with high windows and a glass roof. It's actually amusing to think of high schoolboys eating lunch in this space every day, as it is gorgeous for a special event. We scheduled the Chapel and the Commons, and Josh and Taylor asked one of my husband's classmates, who has become a dear family friend, to celebrate the Nuptial Mass. Those three tasks, which we agreed to pay for as well, started off the plans with what we thought were the most important aspects.

Meanwhile Taylor picked out a gown, and decided that she didn't like the dresses available off the rack as most of them were strapless, and she wanted a more modest dress for her bridesmaids. She had chosen most of her bridesmaids at the time, but added two more later, for a total of six adults, two junior bridesmaids and a flower girl -- quite a gaggle of girls. As she couldn't find dresses for all the different sized girls, and most bridesmaids dresses run in the $200-$300 range (outrageous!), I offered to help Taylor find a pattern and fabric and sew the dresses myself. Truly, I had no idea what I was getting into, but I wouldn't know that for quite a while.




"But grace was given to each of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift." Ephesians 4:7


I had also offered to make the bride's veil, even before I offered to sew the dresses, so I knew I had to get my rear in gear, so to speak. The dresses slowly but surely were finished, and by early May the last dress was finished. I felt I was doing my part in the wedding plans, and God gave me the patience to get the job done -- an amazing feat I will say. I have always believed in God's grace, and I was surely shown that His grace doesn't come before you need it -- only when you do. It's faith that is required to set forth and know that God will be there to rain down the grace as needed.



Faith on right, and the other junior bridesmaid, Madison.

As the day of the wedding got closer and closer, I was busy sewing hundreds of beads and sequins to the bride's veil and trying to keep up with some of the tasks the bride's mother asked of me. But during those last weeks just before the wedding, I admit things got a little hot sometimes. The bride and groom came to me often because they felt the heat from the bride's mother, who herself was feeling the weight of the to-do lists. There were some very hot moments and I think on occasion we all lost it a little bit. The mother of the bride and I met one Saturday morning with Taylor and she gave me a list of things assigned to me, which were all manageable, but I admit after a 3-1/2 hour meeting, I really was starting to have my doubts if all expectations were reasonable. Somebody was bound to be disappointed, and it wasn't me.


"but he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me."  2 Cor 12:9



To be continued...

18 comments:

  1. Faith looks so pretty! What a great shade of purple. I was a maid of honor in a wedding that was held in that chapel, and it is a really special space.

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    1. Thank you, Emily. And that chapel will always have a special place in our hearts, especially now that we've had two weddings there.

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  2. Yikes! We are not quite to the point of marrying off our children, but I bet it's quite a thing to navigate. I intend to make it a point to love my children's true loves like they were my own sons and daughters, and to be friends with their parents. We haven't gotten that and I'd like to gift that to our children - in-laws who can enjoy each others' company, and the joy of their children's new family, without trying to compete with each other.

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    1. Quite a thing to navigate indeed. While we loved Taylor, we barely knew her parents, and while we love Taylor, she is not her parents. You know that old saying about marrying your in-laws? Well, unless you really have the guts to stand up for yourself to your parents or in-laws, life can get pretty difficult. We all live in the same town so there's no real escape from dealing with reality. I have seen many in-laws put their noses where they don't belong and treat their adult children the way they did when they were little, or even worse. Unfortunately, like the saying goes, love is blind, and maybe it should be. If you find your true love, his or her parents shouldn't keep you apart. But you do have to establish boundaries and that's the part we're getting to now.

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  3. That's a spectacular commons; I thought they were outside in your photo. It looks like a large wedding, too. That just magnifies all the issues, doesn't it? Can't wait to hear more and see more dresses---the Junior bridesmaids are gorgeous!

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    1. It is a beautiful venue, Sara. We were fortunate it was also a place close to our hearts. More later. I got hit with a bad cold last week and I just can't shake it.

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  4. What a beautiful venue for the wedding. I'm looking forward to the rest of the story, and I have to say that it's wonderful that you, as mother of the groom, were so involved in the whole process AND that you were able to use your special talents and gifts to fill that need for modest and beautiful dresses for the attendants.

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  5. Ooooh, a cliffhanger!!

    The pictures are so lovely and even better, are proof that you survived. What's more, the title of this post is proof that not only did you "survive", you thrived!

    Corny? Maybe, but beautiful weddings bring out the {North Dakota} corn in me!!

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    1. Only with God could I have thrived. And not really a cliffhanger, just no energy to keep going. I have an awful summer cold that hit on my birthday!

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    2. Take care of yourself and your family first, sweet momma. The blog (and the pictures!) (the glorious pictures!) can wait. : )

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  6. I love how you are keeping it real!!

    And the description of the day itself with the few photos? Beautiful!!

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    1. I am trying to make this more of a realistic glimpse at putting a wedding together, with a little happily ever after thrown in. ;-)

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  7. I enjoyed the honest view because really, it doesn't always go perfectly or easily. I love the photos so far and the girls' dress color is so pretty. I'll be eager to read more!

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  8. Another great one...your honesty is refreshing! Love seeing all the pictures and the dresses are absolutely charming!

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  9. OK, now I'm dying to know what the mother of the bride's list for you was!! :) I know that being the mother of the groom AND the seamstress, you had to be under so much pressure at the end...

    I am wondering though, does your new daughter in law read your blog?

    And where did they decide to go on their honeymoon?

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    1. Um, yes, I think so, and I don't even remember what it was now -- it's done and I threw it away and forgot all about it. Sort of like labor pains! All God's grace!

      They haven't honeymooned yet. When they planned the wedding date, they thought they would have been graduated by now. But they had one more class to take -- bummer. They graduate August 9, will be moving into an apartment shortly after (they are spending half time at each house) and then in October, honeymooning at Disney World! Silly kids. ;-)

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I appreciate your comments -- sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself!