Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:6-7



Monday, April 14, 2014

(4/14)...streaming




Lots of thoughts today. I didn't sleep well, and shortly after waking I got that same feeling that ended me in the ER (or ED if you're in the hospital business) a few weeks ago. Now that I know it's anxiety, it didn't last quite as long. Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety...sigh.

Yesterday was Taylor's last RCIA session before becoming Catholic. There will be one more session after Easter, and then I will have my Sundays back. Happy sigh. I have never taken my children to the Vigil. The last time I went was when I was pregnant with Geoffrey 24 years ago. I almost passed out. That's about all I remember...first trimester nausea. My kids, I admit, are not thrilled to be going to the Vigil. I am embarrassed that they feel that way, but there it is. Honesty. Nine readings and psalms in between. Baptisms. Confirmation. First Communion. It is the king of all Masses. I am excited to be there, but I guess I have more invested in it than my children do. What do you do? Do you attend the vigil? Do you bribe your children? I have no intention of doing that, but I was just curious what others do. I realize most people with young children do not attend the Vigil, but maybe some of you with older children do. I wish that they wanted to, but "askin' ain't gettin'" as Pork said in Gone With the Wind.


~~~~~

As you probably know, if you read here fairly often, I have pain issues. My doctor suggested I try celebrex for back and joint pain, and so I did. It has the side effect of thinning the blood, so I have to be careful being on coumadin. The last time I had my INR (time it takes for blood to clot) checked it was really thin. I think it's still really thin based on the fact that I knicked myself shaving and the knick dripped for a long time. Anyway, back to the celebrex. A possible side effect is peripheral edema. Last week my feet and ankles were very swollen and I kept wondering why. That time of the month? Since I had my hysterectomy I don't know when my period would be (I still have ovaries), but I still get some symptoms. It finally dawned on me that it could be the celebrex. I looked up side effects and edema was one of the more common ones. I was really disappointed because the celebrex was working great. Almost all of my achy joints were not achy. Going up and down stairs -- no pain! But my feet were so swollen I couldn't get shoes on. So I stopped taking it on Friday to see what would happen. The pain is back, but my ankles and feet are still swollen. I'm not sure how long it will take for the swelling to go down.

~~~~~


I did our taxes a week ago. I use Turbo Tax and if you use Turbo Tax you know that on the side of the web page you see your grand total for the federal and state refund, or what you owe, and watch as it changes when you add deductions. As I added my deductions I kept watching and waiting for the amount we owe to turn into a refund and.it.never.did. We haven't owed in years and years because we keep a nice big cush there for a forced savings for home improvement projects. Nothing changed this year except the amount of money on the line that shows total tax due. I was really, really, really disappointed. Its a sad day when a home owner claiming three children owes that much tax. I mean, we paid several thousand more than last year. Thanks, federal government.

~~~~~

This week I'm going to stay away from the computer as much as possible. I took Taylor to make her first Confession this evening (happy sigh), and we'll go to Holy Thursday Mass and Good Friday service, and spend most of Saturday preparing for the Vigil. It's going to be a busy week, but I'm looking forward to every event.

Just a reminder, before Easter, if you need a rosary for a First Holy Communion or Confirmation, please check my Etsy shop. I have more rosaries listed than I ever have, and I have supplies for a lot more. I appreciate your support of my apostolate.

I will be praying for all of my readers this week as we celebrate the beautiful traditions of our Church, remembering the last days of Our Lord's life on earth, and rejoicing at His resurrection.







27 comments:

  1. I am a convert. Well, I guess I am now an unvert, because we are now in a Protestant church (Long story, but not a loss of faith). Anyway, the odd thing is that I really loved the Easter vigil mass. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to make myself out to be holy, because I am not, but I just found it so meaningful that I didn't mind the length. I did not feel that way about every special mass. :) Good for you for making it through rica! My experience going through rcic with my daughter after moving to a new state where they had confirmed earlier is a big part of the reason I am no longer Catholic, but that is an issue with the local diocese rather than the church as a whole.

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    1. My experience in RCIA has not been all good. We are humans, and we fail each other. But, God is good, and each time He comes to me in the Eucharist, and at Confession, I am reminded how very grateful I am for the Church, even with the failings. There is no institution on earth free of sin, because sin is part of being human. I pray you revert to the Catholic Church. In my years I have come across many people who don't go to church any more because of some human failing. But, don't throw the baby out with the bath water. If you had a bad doctor, I mean one who made a really big mistake, you would likely not stop going to doctors completely. It is good that you are still going to church, but I will pray for your return to the Eucharist. God bless you.

      Pax,
      Barbara

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    2. God is not in the church here. Please know this is a SPECIFIC parish (with other options not available here), not the church as a whole I am speaking of. I tried for two years to just keep going, but in the end needed to feed my faith and needed my kids to see Godly examples and love rather than the non-Godliness they were seeing there. We are very active members of another Christian church now, and my faith has grown and I have been fed. This church is like no other I have ever seen or experienced. I did not think I would ever leave the Catholic faith, but I truly think I would have lost my faith altogether had I not. It was a painful, hard decision, but it was absolutely the right one. This is not a situation where there are one or two bad eggs, but where the leadership has been taken over by people who are so confident they know God's will that He is no longer ever consulted.

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    3. I am so very, very sorry. I will pray for a change...somewhere, somehow, so that you can come back. With God, all things are possible.

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    4. I find our parish not as religious...big screens...loud loud drum banging music...the youth group!???! doesn't have one. the people...very flawed. My other church...the pastor is very dry and the music is horrible...the people very simple. But, I still could never leave the Eucharist. I had a bestest friend leave the church because she didn't feel anything. RCIA programs should be super duper great! Like Scott Hahn great. There are so many resources out there to learn out faith. Praying for Sheila and I also pray she comes back to the Eucharist.

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  2. Rcic, I meant. My iPad tried to help me spell.

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  3. I'm so happy that you were able to find some pain relief, but sorry that you have had the swelling. How frustrating. I've been reading over your past post of the last week and I love the "looking up" suggestion. Wonderful and yet so simple. I really have been wanting to talk with you, Barbara. It's been on my heart many times. We're going through a very difficult time (haven't wanted to blog it) and you keep popping into my thoughts. So, if you could spare a few, would you please pray for me and my family. Thank you. God bless your holy week.

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    1. Kelly,
      You will be in my prayers. And if you need to talk, please call me. Do you still have my number?

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  4. That's so frustrating about the celebrex. Meds cause as many problems as they solve, it seems. I hope you find a better option.

    As for the Great Easter Vigil---we are an EV family. I should blog about it. We've gone, almost without exception, every year since I converted 18 years ago, so that meant taking a lot of children every year. They slept through it up to a certain age, though, they weren't getting anything out of it except happy parents. ;-)

    The thing is, the people there generally want to be there and celebrate the Resurrection. It's not overcrowded. On Easter Sunday, the church is filled to the brim with the Christmas & Easter people and everyone is grumpy and very uncharitable.

    It's long, yes, though I've never been to one where they do ALL the psalms and readings (I think our new parish only does one psalm! o_0 ), but it's gorgeous. And the Litany of Saints! Sigh! Everything is The Best that night; I hope they love it.

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  5. We were told there would be seven Old Testament readings, one New Testament, and the Gospel with a psalm in between each. You would think, being a student community, that the Newman would tend to take shortcuts whenever available, but they have not once since I have been going, even when a shorter reading is available. And though the palms had already been blessed on Sunday, Father went through the entire blessing again. Not that I am complaining, I am just surprised.

    Please pray that my children can see the beauty of the Vigil. Not only do I want them to appreciate the beauty of the liturgy, but I want Taylor to feel supported by us.

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    1. If they're doing all the readings, that's awesome. I was looking for a litany of saints on YouTube (since I was asked to sing part of it this year), and i found one at the Newman Center!

      Double dittos on everything Beth said below!

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  6. We go to the Easter Vigil, kids and all. The first Vigil after my son was born (he was about 3 months old) he needed a diaper change in the middle of the readings. We lived a block from the church at that time. My husband walked home, changed the diaper, then came back, missing only one reading :) That's a happy memory.

    We continue to go each year, even as our family grows, because it is the most wonderful liturgy of the year. A simple (and really if you think about it) quick lesson on our Faith and the roots of it...and the reason for the need of the savior. Then the Exsultet, wow. "O truly necessary sin of Adam, destroyed completely by the Death of Christ! O happy fault
    that earned for us so great, so glorious a Redeemer!"

    (http://www.ccwatershed.org/exsultet/video/)

    We don't bribe our kids, but they do know that there are treats awaiting them at home, so they tend to behave, plus half of them fall asleep. :) I'd say that last year was the most difficult one as the baby was a week old and being baptised that evening, but we survived it.

    I know it's a busy week, but perhaps going over the beauty of the liturgy, the parts of it, and the wonderfulness of Taylor coming into the Church will help them?


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    1. Thank you, Beth. I am very hopeful, and prayerful for open minds, and that when we are in the midst if it, their hearts will be touched.

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  7. Barbara, big hugs and prayers for you this week! I'm so behind on commenting on your posts. Know that I read you and pray for your intentions. You have had a rough Lent! I'm sorry about the Celebrex. Those darn meds! They always have the side effects. Can I ask if this was a generic form? If so, I would insist on trying the name brand and see if it helps. I couldn't handle generic beta-blockers, but the name brand is fine. There is much evidence that the generic is inconsistent, some have fillers and cause problems. I'd just give it one chance if you can do name brand. But ignore all this if you were already doing name brand!

    Even reluctant children will be touched by the Easter Vigil...it's just too much rich symbolism that they can't miss! I'll be praying for you and the person you are sponsoring.

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    1. Jennifer, it was the name brand. There is no generic of Celebrex yet. I actually had two of the most common symptoms. Besides the edema, I developed a sore throat and had laryngitis for a couple days. I thought it was just a cold. Then I stopped the celebrex and it went away. Later, reading side effects, I saw sore throat. Weird, huh?

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  8. We love the Easter Vigil Mass! The older kids ASK to go, but the littles love it, too, because they get to hold lit candles, and there's a bonfire. :-) We share one priest between two parishes, so I only go every other year with the young ones when it's held here (adding travel time is too much for them), but Davey takes the big girls every year, because they want to. Most of our youngsters fall asleep in the pew, and because it's not crowded, it's okay. We often attend on Easter morning, too, because they schedule us to work the Mass. :-) Or just because there's a different kind of magic in celebrating the Resurrection with the sun streaming in on us.

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    1. Good to know, Jennie. I wish I had taken our children many years ago. I guess I just thought it would be too hard. I see now, it wasn't hard at all and your girls grew to love it.

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  9. We went to a Vigil Mass once and I couldn't figure out what was going on because I had never ever been to one before. This was last year. I didn't know about all the readings etc...Learned something new. It was too long for the kids. Going to Easter Sunday Mass this year.

    Praying for your pain. That can be so hard mentally. I freak out when I get a little headache. Hugs hugs hugs.

    Have a Blessed Easter Week.

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    1. I think knowing what will happen will help immensely, plus being near the front of church, and having a vested interest in what's happening. Since I know all the candidates and elect, it will make it more personal. Not so for my kids, however. I just hope their hearts are touched. With God all things are possible...right?

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  10. Boo to the swelling, double boo to the return of pain, and a HUGE boo to the tax situation. :( We don't owe money this year, but we certainly saw a difference in our refund. Rob was going back to double check several times. I must audibly remind myself to "render unto Caesar" when we do the taxes.

    We don't take the children to the Vigil, but I think we will at least try it when the smallest one is a little older. It is just such a gorgeous mass. I do get to see it all when I sing at the vigil with the choir and I wish there was some way for Rob to be there with me. One year, I spent the whole mass crying just from the beauty of it. Our pastor at the time was a very reverent and holy man who had great respect for the liturgy and an excellent eye for the decoration in the church. We did all the readings and psalms, and the pastor asked all the people attending the vigil to bring a small bell with them. He instructed us, and especially the children, to ring the bells whenever we heard an "alleluia." When the choir started the "gloria" and all the lights came on in church, Monsignor had the children ringing their bells and he timed the tower bells to ring at the same time -- I'm telling you, I've never been so overwhelmed in mass like that. I couldn't sing because I was crying. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen/heard.
    Of course, who knows if I would have appreciated it as a teenager or young adult. I'd like to think so, but I have my doubts. :)

    Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. Have a holy rest of the week and a glorious Easter, my dear friend.

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    1. I'll have to remember "render Unto Caesar" next year. I'm certain it won't get any better except we will adjust the withholdings.

      Thank you for sharing you thoughts and feelings on the vigil. I am sure it will be emotional for me. I'll try to hold it together so I don't embarrass Taylor. ;-) The one thing I'll have to my advantage is the music is very, shall I say, eclectic, so that won't move me like the music at my own parish would. :-)

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  11. Barbara! Your honesty rocks.

    We do not go to the Vigil. Now, if I DID ask my kids to go, know that you are not alone, because they would absolutely drag their Catholic feet. They are already beside themselves knowing that they will spend Thursday, AND Friday this week at church, then confession on Saturday, and back to church on Sunday!! But guess what? I was that kid too...and now you cannot keep me away from the mass!!! We are planting the seeds...providing good soil...whatever Easter mass your family goes to, Praise God!

    I will keep all of your intentions in my heart...praying for your health and anxiety (I won't even share my tax total with you...let's just say it involves a 6 and a whole lot of zeros!!!!!) and I will also keep Sheila in my prayers and all that have fallen away from their Catholic faith....God IS in that church...in every Catholic church...in every mass....in the Eucharist...and nowhere else will you receive that awesome gift!

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    1. Thank you for you honesty, Laura. Now I don't feel so badly. ;-)

      And I don't feel so badly about my tax bill either, but that refund? I really want my refund. No vacation, no home improvements. Booooo!

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  12. Yes, there was a 4% increase in the tax code this year and it affected self employed more than others. We paind several thousand more even though I was not working this year. My thoughts and opinions are not very kind, so I'm keeping that to myself and God. :))))

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    1. My thoughts are not very kind either. And it makes me feel stingy toward those who "get" my money, which I don't like either.

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  13. We've gone to the Easter Vigil less than a handful of times. The first was when my husband converted & Greg was just a year old. My dad was wonderful and held Greg in the back of the church throughout most of it. That RCIA was 'interesting' and we look back on it as the 'start' of our journey. Eric didn't have anything to gauge the whole process & learning experience on, I DID. I didn't enjoy it at times, and really questioned some ideas/thoughts/talks, but the outcome was wonderful! The outcome of your future daughter-in-law joining the church is wonderful.

    Since then, we've gone twice, but are going to go this year. We have a small parish and this year have one person entering the church. The kids did great last year. We let the little ones sleep and this year, the oldest two boys will serve. Somehow, we've conviced the majority of my family, who are coming to visit, to come along as well! I'm a little worried...it's a lot of little kids...hopefully my siblings will still like me the next day ;-) But, the bonus will be being together both Saturday and Sunday. I'm not sure my kids are looking forward to it, but they do like the idea of sleeping in on Sunday and being with family all day.

    Taxes...I'd rather think about Holy Week and family coming to visit!

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  14. When Tom and I were first married, we went to the vigil Mass with a 2 year old child we were watching....big mistake!! I had been one other time when a friend of mine became Catholic (and I was her sponsor) but other than those 2 times, that's it. I would not bring my kiddos. Sometimes, like this special time for Taylor, sacrifices must be made, it's a very important time for her, your kids should go. She's family.

    It's not THAT long. Your youngest is 11...they can handle it.

    My humble opinion...I'd leave my littles, even my 9 and unders, but my 2 oldest, I'd bring if we had someone important going through this.

    I hope you are feeling better and that your feet get back to normal...if not, then take that medicine again! Praying for you sweet Barbara!

    Blessings on your holy week...

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I appreciate your comments -- sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself!