Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:6-7

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Several questions daybook

Outdoors...it's supposed to get warm today. I should say warmish, it won't be balmy I'm sure. It's sunny -- not a cloud in the sky and the birds are singing joyfully.

I am thinking about...anxiety, and how it creeps up on us and we don't even know we're anxious. At this time yesterday I was headed to the ER. I woke up with the alarm at 6:20 and my heart was racing, and my hands and feet were clammy. I hit the snooze like I always do and fell back to sleep for a minute or so, and woke up feeling the same way. I got up, tried to do prayer, sipped some water, took a Benadryl (because it generally calms me), tried to go back to sleep, woke up each time with a racing heart, and finally called Doug to come back home and take me to the ER. I didn't think it was fair for Faith to have to deal with me calling 911 if things got worse. Long story short, after some blood tests, and being on the heart monitor for a couple hours, they gave me an Ativan (which only made me sleepy) and sent me home. Crazy Lady Syndrome, I guess. The nurse suggested that this might be menopausal. I have experienced this twice before, months apart (the last time was last July), and I am beginning to wonder if any of you have ever experienced this "anxiety" related to menopause. I thought hot flashes were uncomfortable they they pale in comparison to butterflies on steroids.

I am wearing...a denim skirt, a blouse and sweater. I also have on handknit socks and slippers because I'm not going anywhere for awhile.

I am reading...Shirt of FlameBringing Lent Home with St. Therese, and  Anima Christi. I am watching the Call the Midwife series over again, and I am waiting for the first DVDs in this past Downton series to watch with my mom. By the way, in answer to the questions about why Downton has such a short season. I don't know the answer, but I can say that many British programs have short seasons. Sherlock is only three episodes. And, Jamie, I can't believe you don't remember the soap episode. "Her Ladyship's soap!" Remember?

I watched a very interesting film yesterday on Netflix about autism called, A Mother's Courage, Talking Back to Autism. I was really just curious when I saw the title, but it was fascinating to learn about giving non-verbal autistic children the opportunity to "speak."

I am creating...I'm off rosaries for the most part, the shop is pretty full. I have two commissioned rosaries to create when the parts arrive, but mostly I'm sewing scapulars, a baby quilt, and today I am tackling that coat of many colors, which I never got to over the weekend. Maybe that's my anxiety.

At the school table...right now Faith is talking to the birds outside the window, because I'm not sitting next to her. I am trying to stop spoon feeding her, because I think she is too dependent on me to get her work finished. It takes her a lot longer, but she has to learn. She is planning to have a friend over later, but she's not too motivated to finish. 

On the table...venison chili. Our neighbor gave us several pounds of ground venison and a couple of steaks. We had the steaks. They were ok. I probably wouldn't buy venison over beef, but I am not used to it either, the steaks were my first taste. I am told by my future daughter-in-law that ground venison in chili tastes just like beef. True?

A few of my favorite things...
...a candle and a dark room (one bonus to daylight savings time) with morning prayer. I am starting to enjoy the Liturgy of the Hours, though I do wish I could find a daily English chant version, just simple chant. I tried doing it myself, but I don't pray as well that way when I'm concentrating on holding the chant alone. I like the idea of praying in community, so I continue to use the audio version available at divineoffice.org, but I would prefer to sing. 

And can someone tell me when the Glory Be changed? I used to pray "Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen" Is it only shortened in the Divine Office? It prays "Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spiritas it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen" and I keep praying it the old way.

Prayers sent heavenward for...
...my husband and children
...all those who are sick and alone
...my son, to learn his chemistry this semester
...our priests and religious, especially our parish priests, and Fr. Howe
...all the babies whose mothers are contemplating abortion this week, for a change of heart

A picture thought...

St. Patrick's Day was not spent the way I had hoped, baking Soda Bread, and preparing Beef Pasties and Fruit Rainbow, with layered mint and chocolate pudding parfaits for dessert. I managed the Beef Pasties and Fruit Rainbow for dinner (I'm a stubborn German) but not the rest.

Lent centerpiece

St. Patrick's Day decorations a la Faith

There are some Amazon affiliate links in this post.


  1. Hi Barbara! The Glory Be is slightly different in the Divine Office. Actually, there are a few different versions out there. When praying the Office privately, it's perfectly acceptable to use the version you're used to (I do), but if you're praying in a community, it's best to use the language in the Breviary. I highly recommend Daria Sockey's web site, "Coffee and Canticles". She'll answer any and all of your questions and you can search back posts as well. Also, she has a wonderful book out, "The Everyday Catholic's Guide to the Liturgy of the Hours", that addresses this question and lots, lots more.

    The anxiety attacks could very well be related to menopause. I've never had a classic textbook attack such as the one you described, but I get times of just feeling extremely nervous, and the hot flashes and profuse sweating don't seem to want to end. I've been doing this for so long now that it's ridiculous. You might not have as hard a time with it as you think will, you might go through it very quickly (here's hoping), but know that you're definitely not alone and we do understand...big time! Prayers, Barbara! Hold on tight!

    Do check out Daria's blog and book, She's been praying the Office for decades and is extremely knowledgeable.

  2. That heart pounding sounds scary! That would send me into even a higher state of anxiety! I hope it is just menopause.

    I always mix some beef in with my hamburger venison...I just like the taste of beef better in my chili.

  3. Oh, Mondays are busy...Oh, wait, it's Tuesday....well, does that explain why I never emailed after that last one about your ER visit? You've been in my heart and prayers though as I run from problem to problem....What a scare. I guess anxiety is better than a heart attack or stroke...but not fun at all. Prayers for you sweet Barbara.

    We all pray the Glory be the old way, never heard the new way...
    We also pray the Act of Contrition the old way...you know, the long way...

  4. Yes I have experienced it .... during menopause esp. when menopause was first beginning...have you had your thyroid checked? Once I got that semi-under control the symptoms disappeared!!! I never comment ...you don't know but felt I should put in my two cents worth..I enjoy your blog!!! JIll

  5. I've never had a panic attack nor a menopausal attack---I guess I wouldn't since I'm not in menopause yet. :-( That must have been so scary. Thank Heaven it was "just" a panic attack!

    IDK when the Glory Be changed, but I learned it a few years ago. My family doesn't seem to know that one, so we pray the old one together and I pray the new one by myself. Here's a link to the Red Nuns in Dublin who have a webcam in the chapel. I'm not sure how they do it, I just remembered that the option was available: http://www.rednuns.com/webcam/

  6. Um, just to clear something up here....the Glory Be has *not* been changed. It is slightly different in the Liturgy of the Hours, but that's all. At all other times we pray it the same way we've always done. There's also nothing wrong with using the traditional wording when praying the LOTH in private. This should help: http://dariasockey.blogspot.com/search?q=the+glory+be+

    But please remember that it applies to the Divine Office (Liturgy of the Hours) only!

  7. What Marie said about the Glory Be.

    I'm glad it wasn't serious, because it sounds like A Fib. But can anxiety just show up just when you wake up in the morning? I haven't had that, nor never heard of it. Have you tried the Magnesium Calm? Calms Forte? Bach's Rescue Remedy? Those are my go to to calm down.

  8. Two things: I have had those anxiety attacks. More often than not, and now that I say it, I know I am past due. I truly believe that they have to do with hormonal changes. My mom and 3 sisters have experienced them as well. Stress and being over tired can induce them in my case. The last one scared the wits out of my husband. I really thought I was having a heart attack and was feeling as though I'd pass out on the floor. It passed while I fervently prayed. They are some of the scariest things that have ever happened to me personally. Prayers and peace to you on these. I have never taken anything, but would definitely be willing to!

    Second, venison! Ground venison is very, very similar to ground beef. Honest! My husband was a bow hunter up in Illinois when we lived there. We had venison all the time. I am a picky eater and I only ate venison ground or prepared like Italian venison (Italian beef).

  9. I'm so sorry to hear of your recent scare. I've had heart palpitations since giving birth to 6th baby. They just come out of nowhere and are very unsettling. It pounds hard and very fast. I had a couple of test done with no success in catching it. I've been told there is a longer test they can do over several days, but I've never done it. There's no rhyme or reason to it. It doesn't matter if I've been active or resting. At first I thought it was just something to do with my pregnancies because of all the extra blood you carry for the baby, but it continued after I would have the baby.

    Yes, it is true that venison taste the same (maybe a bit better) than beef in chili and red sauces such as for spaghetti.

    I love divineoffice.org!! I had their app for my iPod Touch but it's an older version and couldn't keep up with their new and improved versions. :( Such. a. bummer. Seriously, I'd like to get a new iPod just so my app would work again.

    How are you liking Shirt of Flame? I've heard it's kinda intense.

  10. I'm trying to catch up with your latest posts (have been dealing with migrating my computer from Windows XP over to Windows 7; don't ask) and I saw this. I've been dealing with anxiety and some other health issues for several years (weight gain, lethargy, skin problems) that I thought were age-related. My new doctor (bless her!) had a number of tests run on my thyroid, found it was underactive, and put me on Synthroid. Within a week, I was feeling like a new person. She did more than the one basic test that is usually done. It might be worth checking. Keeping you and yours in my prayers. Even one day of being the mom of a teenager can seem everlasting. - Rosemary A. in Hamilton, Ohio


I appreciate your comments -- sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself!