Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:6-7

Tuesday, May 28, 2013


Big heavy sigh.

I feel like I do that a lot these days. 'Tis the season.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Hmmm...what would we do without faith and the wisdom of our religion? Though hard times are not easy, they are predictable. Without the rain, there is no rainbow, so the saying goes. Some hard times are just more predictable than others.

We are getting back to a more predictable life this week. My husband is back at work. The laundry is getting done, slowly. The garden is almost planted. I washed my iPhone in the washing machine yesterday. Yeah, bummer. I was being efficient when I took my bathrobe off to shower, I just piled in the laundry basket, and efficiently washed it right away, without realizing I had dropped my phone in the pocket.

So, it will be a quiet couple of days until it's replaced..."a time to keep silence; and a time to speak."

Not so quiet that I can't blog, however.

I have been thinking a lot about bereavement and the place it has in our culture. Doug and I talked a lot about how some people we know responded to the death of his father and how others just plain didn't seem to notice.

My husband said that many years ago, an older friend commented that you never forget who supported you when a parent died. At the time Doug didn't fully appreciate the statement, but he certainly does now. You notice those kinds of things...who sent a card or a e-note of sympathy, who visited at the funeral home, attended the Mass. It's not a judgment, but you notice. It's just human to notice, I think. We had a few really good friends who supported us with their presence  but those who did not were truly missed. Again...not a judgment, just the truth. I say this because these things are learning experiences. I will never again halfheartedly hear about the death of the loved one of a friend. I hope that I never have, but I hope in the future I can always fully support those who I call friends in their time of need.

Taylor (my son's fiance) was with us throughout the entire burial process and it was good for her and for us. Her parents came to the funeral home and I thanked them for sweet rolls they had sent for breakfast. She laughed that she doesn't bake, but she can buy rolls. I told her that several friends had said "Is there anything I can do?" but I'm not the kind of person to say "yeah, could you bake a cake?" or "dinner tonight would be great." Some things you just do, without knowing whether they are truly needed. Like sending Bereavement Rolls, as I dubbed them jokingly. Doug's mom received a cake, I believe, and her brother-in-law prepared dinner for after the calling hours, but I'm not even sure she received any true-blue casseroles, the hallmark of a death in the family. What has happened to our culture that we are so busy so as to not acknowledge the need of our neighbor?

Anyway...just food for thought, no pun intended. If you ever doubt whether or not a gesture will be appreciated, always err on the side of overdone rather than undone.


"a time to mourn, and a time to dance"

We are planning a big party this weekend...an engagement party. I think Doug felt so badly for Joshua and Taylor when they announced their engagement and his dad died the next morning, he promised an engagement party. I didn't think it would fall so swiftly on the heals of the funeral, but he allowed it and so it is.

The wedding is going to be planned for June in two years, so we have a lot of time to plan, and have fun with it...and so the fun begins.


"a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted"

I mentioned that the garden is nearly planted, finally. A dear friend gave us a hosta named "Paul's Glory" to remember Doug's dad Paul, and our neighbor gave us a hosta named "Big Daddy" -- such great friends. I created a small garden in the side yard with the hostas; and some flowers, some Pansies because their childhood dog was Pansy; a bird feeder, because he loved the birds; and a wind chime, which he also loved.

I also planted a dozen or so new perennials and lots of flowers for Mary ~~ Marigolds of several varieties, petunias, impatiens, thyme and rosemary, lavender and forget-me-nots. It's so nice to plant flowers that are not only beautiful, but have stories behind them.

Now, if I could only keep the rabbits from eating all the flower tops!

Goodnight now, friends. I'll see you on the morrow.


  1. I'll offer my Divine Mercy chaplet for your intentions tonight. God bless you Barbara and thank you for the gentle reminders...

  2. I'm sorry for the loss of your father in law. The garden sounds like such a sweet idea. a friend of mine suffered the death of her mother recently and I sent flowers from or homeschool group. later sometime told me to send a potted plant instead, that some did that after her dads death and she took these home to plant. I thought this was a neat idea. We planted or first Mary garden this year. :-) I hope you have a healing beginning to summer and enjoy preparing for the wedding!

  3. Engagement party sounds like a neat idea! I have never been to one. I dont think it is custom to do that around MN.

    Time is precious and it is going way too fast these days.

    Wonder why your pup and kitty dont chase those naughty rabbits away!?!

  4. Kara,
    Thank you for your prayers. :-)

  5. Mel,
    I would never have thought of a garden, but now that it happened, I love it too!

  6. Christine,
    I don't hear much about engagement parties, and under normal circumstance we wouldn't be having one, but I do think it's fun, and deserving of a celebration, especially since the wedding will be so far down the road!

    The kitty is an indoor cat and the doggy is banned from the garden because she poops by the flowers. Yuck. I sprinkled some used kitty litter around the perimeter and now I'll see if that worked!

  7. I am hopelessly behind on all blog reading, and am so sorry to hear about your father-in-law. May his soul rest in peace.

    Congratulations to the happy couple! Joyful times!

    Sad that so little help was given by way of food. I think everybody just assumes somebody else will do it...or nobody knows how to cook any more. Store bought is just as welcome, though. I had someone bring me grocery store roasted chicken after George was born, and anything that I didn't have to prepare tasted delicious. People in need aren't picky.


I appreciate your comments -- sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself!