First, I want to say, if you are reading from anywhere in Oklahoma, I am so sorry for your misery. Of course, if your home was destroyed, or someone you loved injured or killed, you are, without a doubt, not reading my blog today. But still, my thoughts are with you. With all of the sadness we experienced in the last week with the death of my husband's father, I can not imagine that multiplied several times over and done without at least the comfort of a soft bed at night and good meals to nurse our hurting hearts.
Yesterday, we buried my father-in-law. He had a full military burial, following the funeral Mass.
If you have never experienced such a thing, I can tell you it not only is one of the most beautifully patriotic things to witness, but also one of the most moving. All I can say is I am out of tears today.
I told my dear neighbor yesterday that it is hard to lose someone close, very difficult to see your husband mourn the loss of his dad, but it is nothing like watching your children mourn. I won't get into it here, no need to relive, because you know what I mean. Only to add that those beautiful young Marines made it a proud moment, but infinitely more emotional.
Doug came home finally late yesterday after spending the afternoon at his mom's and started working outside on one of the cars. He said "Germans work through their grief" which I'm pretty sure is not true (not true or untrue -- we all deal with grief differently; I'm sure some Germans go to bed), but I have enough work around the house to help him through this tough time.
I was honored to plan my father-in-law's funeral Mass. Doing so gave me a lot of thoughts about what I would want for my own Mass, as well as some thoughts about how different parishes allow you to plan the funeral of a loved one. All I have to say about that is be sure the parish you are in suits your faith life because when you have your funeral at that parish, you may get what they like and not what you like, all within the confines of a proper funeral Mass, of course.
I plan to put in writing what I want at the time of my death. My husband and I are probably polar opposites here, and though I think much of the process is for the survivors, I don't think it should necessarily be done "their way." I want a simple funeral Mass and that's all. I have spent more than enough time in funeral homes in my life. No more.
Do you have your funeral planned? Do you find it too uncomfortable?
In other news...Josh asked Taylor to marry him last week.
It was bittersweet.
When Joshua and I were driving home from picking out the ring, I asked him if he had any idea when he would ask her. He had originally thought he would wait until autumn. But he answered that he wanted to ask her before grandpa died. He wanted grandpa to know he would be happy.
On Wednesday evening, he asked Taylor to marry him at the Greek amphitheater on campus. He called me to tell me and asked me to tell his dad, who was sitting vigil at his father's side. Doug told his dad, and I believe he must have heard him. Joshua was named for him (Joshua Paul) and Joshua is most like him of all the grandchildren. I'm certain it made him happy.
But, in the bitter days that followed the two young lovebirds kind of lost the joy they had achieved. We are planning a big party now to help them celebrate.
They plan to wait until after graduation in two years, but wanted to commit to each other for their college days remaining.
Today we're back into the swing of normal life, school, laundry, doctor's appointments. I spent the days before the calling hours and funeral prepping clothes, between planning the funeral and mapping out photo boards. It takes a lot to purchase, launder and ready clothes for a medium-large family. I can't imagine doing it if the death had been my husband or a child. It's a great favor to offer a friend, though with adult children a little harder. I had to hit three department stores to find trousers for Noah.
There are loads and loads of towels and sheets to wash, and post-funeral clothes now to get washed, ironed and back in the closets. This afternoon I have an appointment to have the nerve in my leg injected with lidocaine and corticosteroid. I am really chicken about this procedure. I'll try to offer it up.
Take care. I'll be back, and resume Everyday in May for Mary.