Daybook

Outside my window... 

...rainy and very dark. Oddly, I am not comforted by the gray and the rain as I usually am.

 I am thinking... 

...about how unsettled I feel lately. It's an anxious, edgy feeling. There is a lot going on in my life right now and I don't do well with a lot of activity. I like a regular schedule, periods of calm. Nothing is regular right now except irregularity. I thought blogging about it might help me...by putting my thoughts into words, but I think I need prayer more than words. I need to pray, and read spiritual words.

From the lesson plans...  

...hmmm, chaos? Actually it's not quite that bad...it's just irregular. Faith packed up all the school books and took them to the basement to "do school" down there. I can't decide if she wants me by her side or not. When we are side by side she tends to push back, so maybe this is her way of gaining distance and staying sane. We all need distance now and then.

I started doing a flower unit with her. I have never been a unit homeschooler, but with everything flowering, it seems like a good thing to do. We planted flower seeds -- lavender, forget-me-nots, and daisies in seed pots. We are reading The Secret Garden, and she colors in The Secret Garden coloring book while I read aloud -- Faith can't just sit still. I am enjoying the book, though I find it hard to read aloud. The order of the sentences is not what I would naturally say so I'm always stumbling over them. And Faith is not enjoying it because she detests sitting for long. How I wish for a little girl who enjoys having a cup of tea and a good book. But my mother always said "Don't wish your life away," so I'll try not to. We are using Exploring Creation: Botany to learn about flowers, parts of flowers and plants. Here is a great parts of flowers page to color, and here is a fun page for just doodle coloring. I am also using the Flower Fairy series by Cicely Mary Barker to learn about different flowers, but Faith has not been enthused about this because she thinks she is too old for fairies. Sigh. I think they are sweet and I'm old. I am also using Mary's Flowers to plan some planting. Did you know thistle is a Mary plant (Mary's Milk Thistle -- just thinking about it makes me want to cry)? I can't wait to dig up all the thistle that grows in my yard and plant it in a special place. I always pull it as soon as I see it and have never enjoyed the flower.

We finished vocabulary, handwriting, but have many more math lessons to go. Oh joy.

From the kitchen..

...I've not been very creative in the kitchen this week. I feel like my family doesn't eat what I cook, so why knock myself out? As soon as we can start grilling regularly they will be happy, but then my groceries will be a lot more expensive. I cooked them grilled BBQ ribs last Saturday and the men were giddy with joy for grilled food, but the cost -- yikes! I had roasted vegetables myself because I don't eat ribs. I enjoyed golden beets and brussel sprouts and mushrooms. Yum.

Tonight is Tortilla soup.

 I am wearing...

 ...a black skirt and light blue blouse, black loafers



I am reading...

...I am almost finished with Call the Midwife by Jennifer Worth and that's all I'm reading right now.

Like I said under "I am thinking..." I need to read something spiritual, like True Devotion. I was reading during Lent and then got so caught up in daily business that I stopped. Need to start again.

I am creating...

...Embroidered scapulars, a pink baby quilt -- love the squares, rosaries for First Holy Communion,  chapel veils, pajama pants, girlie girl skirts.

I still owe my daughter mattresses, quilts, and pillows for her AG bunk beds, and another set for a friend. They got tucked away at Easter and I forgot about them.

 I am planning...

...to drive to Cincinnati next week to see my grandma. She's almost 97 -- we share a June birthday -- and she now has congestive heart failure, though she still lives alone and watches every single Cincinnati Reds game each year. In fact, we planned to go Saturday or Sunday, but the Reds play in the afternoon on both Saturday and Sunday, and I didn't want her to have to choose between visiting and the Reds, so my mom and Faith and I will go during the week.

I am hoping... 

...for a peaceful week. It seems that's all I ever hope for.

...for peace for my father- and mother-in-law. 

 Around the house...

 ...laundry -- big piles. It's a good thing it's raining and I don't have plans to go out for long.

I am going...

...just to pick up Noah from school and come straight home. I do need to get some plastic combs for a First Holy Communion veil and a necklace clasp but that may wait for tomorrow.

 I am praying for...

...my children, and my husband

...my father-in-law, for many, many more months of peaceful and pain-free (with meds) living.

...my dear friend Gina.

...all those suffering from last week's tragedies

...our priests and all religious, especially those who have strayed from the teachings of the Church

 ...all of the babies whose mothers are contemplating abortion this week, and for a change of heart for their mothers. 

Thought for the day...

The Magnificat ~~

Through Faith we are able to turn our faces to God and meet his gaze. Each day becomes more and more luminous. The veil between God and man becomes less and less until it seems as if we can almost reach out and touch God.

Faith is a pulsating thing; a light, a sun that nothing can dim if it exists in the hearts of men. That's why it's so beautiful. God gives it to me saying, "I love you.  Do you love me back?  Come and follow me in the darkness. I want to know if you are ready to go into the things that you do not see yet, on faith alone."

Then you look at God, or at what you think is God in your mind, and you say, "Look, this is fine, but you're inviting me to what? An emptiness? A nothingness? There is nothing to see. I cannot touch you.  I cannot feel you." Then God goes on to say, "I invite you to a relationship of love; your love of me, my love of you." Yes, God comes to us as an invitation to love.

At this moment love surges in our heart like a tremendous sea that takes us in and lays us in the arms of God whom we haven't seen but in whom we believe. Across the waves we hear, "Blessed are they who have not seen and yet believe" (Jn 20:29). Now I walk in the darkness of faith and I see. I see more clearly than is possible with my fleshly eyes.

~~Servant of God Catherine de Hueck Doherty