Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:6-7

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

How low will they go?


How long, I wonder, will it be before people (and by people, I mean folks with normal common sense) take society back from liberal-minded people who are ruining it? Ruining, as in: the act of to injuring irretrievably.

Yesterday's local newspaper (not that I read it) ran an article about co-ed living being pushed among Ohio colleges and universities. Apparently students want it, and what our 18 year-olds want, we give them, right? After all, they know it all. "They" say that coed housing is going to make those students with gender confusion issues (ya know) feel better about living in a dorm with other folks (in other words, those students don't want to live with same-sex people). Of course, having co-ed housing also opens up the opportunity for boys and girls without gender identity issues to live together as well, because we couldn't discriminate against anyone.

My husband called me yesterday morning to tell me about the article. We have talked about this issue before because other states are dealing with it, but this is the first we've read about the issue locally. My husband and I have huge (HUGE) problems with the concept because we experienced first-hand the problems that come with having a child live in a co-ed dorm (co-ed every other room, so you if you are a guy you have girls on both sides and across the hall). Let's just say it makes for very familiar living, and I am of the opinion that boys and girls who are unrelated just don't need to be that familiar with each other. And yes, I said "boys and girls" because they are not men and women yet. Do you know any 18-year-olds? They are boys and girls. Trust me.

Anyway, the article apparently sparked some very heated debate in the comments section (which I refuse to read because it makes my blood actually boil and that's not good for you, but my husband read me a few just for kicks and giggles -- his, not mine) and the debate was between those who have normal common sense and those with liberal-minded common sense (i.e., none). Apparently liberal-minded folks think sending your kid off to college to live with a member of the opposite sex is just fine and if you don't like it then you should send your kid to some stick-up-the-you-know-what Christian school (good luck filling all those other schools with liberal-minded folks' kids, by the way).

As you can imagine, just for "kicks and giggles" my husband raised my ire in about 1.01 seconds as he read to me several of these name-calling comments over the phone. And when I say ire, I mean ire. As if I were dictating a letter to the individuals who left their comments, I replied, "O.k. open-minded dad, if you think it's all good for your sweet little girl to live with her boyfriend her first year in college, and it's all good for her to spend her time sleeping with him whenever she wants instead of going to class, or joining a club, or conversing with other people on campus who are not her boyfriend, what are you going to do when, before the end of October, she has a big break-up with her sweetheart and she is stuck living with him for the rest of the year, and she's set to jump out the third floor dorm window because she is held legally captive in a university contract that holds her hostage under penalty of death or a fine of $2900 per quarter. You gonna bail her out dad?"

Why do some people find it necessary to stretch the limits of common sense and decency past their limits? I don't know one person (well maybe I know one, but not someone I respect) who would think that co-ed living in college dorms (boys and girls in the same room) is a good idea. Anybody? Anybody?



  1. I lived in a dorm that was all girls and then a dorm that was co-ed by floor (bottom floor was guys, upper floor was girls). I didn't have a problem with that co-ed situation because 1) our floor had its own locked doors that only the girls had keys to and 2) when the tornado sirens when off or the building had to be evacuated or if ever something serious had ever happened, I liked the idea of having some guys in the building. Of course that was at a Catholic University and I never knew anything inappropriate to happen between floors. My experience with the all girl dorm, which was at a private university, but not Catholic, was actually worse. Some girls brought all sorts of guys in to do all *sorts* of things. Someone even smeared the walls of the building bathroom with excrement. (Happily I didn't see it myself and was only informed about it at a dorm meeting later.)

    I definitely think there needs to be a clear division between females and males - at least by floor if not by building - and I think the alternating room idea is terrible for too many reasons. But I also think part of it comes down to the type of students that are living there. My experience at the Catholic University dorm, even though it was the one with guys in it, was vastly superior to the one at the private university dorm that was all girls.

  2. Also, in answer to, "How low will they go?" I just thought I'd mention, my husband recently read an article about one school (http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/227424/caveat-parens/karin-venable-morin) that has co-ed rooms. I'm sure much lower is possible.

  3. Katherine,
    Sadly, you'd be hard-pressed to find an institution of higher learning (especially those public ones) these days with all-girl or all-guy dorms. I think there is one all-girl dorm left at Ohio State where my son is, and no all-guy. I agree that co-ed can be done reasonably, and I think all-girl and all-guy floors are reasonable.

    I lived in a sorority house in college and no guys were allowed above the public first floor. And we stuck to the rules.:-)

    Yikes -- I just read the article you linked to and my blood is boiling again. If I get started again I may never stop!

  4. Oh, yeah, I forgot about bathrooms.


  5. Barbara,

    Oh, sorry about your blood pressure. I promise no more links.

    I went to look up the dorm I lived in that was all-girls. It is now co-ed ("male and female students live on the same hall"). It is a shame there are so few left.

  6. Wait, yikes, you are talking about CO-ED ROOMS????????????
    (Pardon my shriek.) Good Lord.

    My son's in a Catholic college and the dorms are coed "by wing" which means that there is a "guys' side" and a "girls' side" to the dorm. Elevator in the middle. I'd prefer more-limited access like Katherine said above, and I'd prefer single-sex living options as well. This is about as good as it gets at his university, unfortunately.

  7. I couldn't agree with you more, Barbara!
    My oldest two went to a Catholic university (freshmen in '02 & '03) and they had co-ed by floor dorms and one co-ed by room dorm, which was only open to 'mature, responsible upper-classmen' because, I assume, by the time our boys and girls hit the ripe old age of 20, they have complete control and could never cave..... ugh. I am still appalled!

    A great read, should you get the chance, is Unprotected, by Miriam Grossman, M.D. addressing such these issues. (Did I mention this is a GREAT read?) Its alarming, but EVERYONE should read this.

  8. Couldn't agree more. I went to Northwestern and lived in a fine arts (which meant that a good portion of the residents were gay) residential college. The floors were split into two sections (by a swinging door) and the girls had one section the boys had the other. I blame the whole place on my liberal revolt back in the day! My parents were still in Europe and I was a good little Catholic girl 5000 miles from home. Things went haywire. Within a day or two of arriving I'd been exposed to things I didn't even know existed. And whoever thinks 18 year olds are adults is just wrong. Peer pressure is still very much alive and hormones are raging. It's a volatile era to be sure. It took me a good 8-10 years to return to the life and life views I knew before university.

    Can I just keep my girls at home with me forever? :)

  9. I don't believe for a minute that co-ed rooms are ok. I lived in co-ed dorms that were co-ed by suites, meaning each suite (two rooms, one bathroom, one huge closet area) was single sex but you could be across the hall to a boy's unit, or vice versa. Of the 10 floor building, the bottom floor was all admin, janitor, REC, the second floor was a fraternity hall, after that... was anyone's guess not withstanding the 10th floor being all freshmen. After two years of living like this, I had to transfer to an all female dorm because I just couldn't get focused. I just spent the better part of an hour looking up current info and the all female dorm I lived in isn't all female anymore. But at least the University still makes all freshmen live on campus the first year and don't let them have a car.

    Did you check out my blog for the student orientation post I have up? Don't look there until you've taken blood pressure medication or you have had a hot toddy.

  10. Yes, Barb, co-ed rooms. I know. I'm sure it will only get worse. Sigh.

    I will check that one out, Lori.

    I am so, so fortunate to have gone the path which led me to a sorority. It was very sheltered, as campus life goes. I'm glad you came back to the "right" side, too. ;-) And yes, you can keep them with your forever if you can get them to go along with it. Sounds beautiful to me.

    I think most colleges still require freshmen to live in the dorms. I think it's the only way they can fill the damn things.

  11. I left a big long comment yesterday, but then Blogger told me "service unavailable" and deleted it. Grrr..

    The gist of the comment was that this is a bad idea. Really bad, but it's not "cool" to be a grown-up with morals anymore. Whatever the kids think is cool is what determines a course of action. And letting them pretend to be grown-ups is what college is all about.

    I was an RA for three years in college, and I saw some really bad things. I mean BAD.And our campus only had two co-ed dorms where the men and women were separated by locked wings, with no shared bathrooms. Plus, our campus had a strict visitation policy, which the students very vocally opposed, but so what? We were 19 years old, we opposed everything!

    Then we grew up and realized what a bunch of idiots we were. At least some of us did.

    My first comment was much more coherent, but I'm with you, Barbara.

  12. This "Anybody" is not letting my kids go near a college. good grief what the heck is wrong with our world.

    co-ed is a foolish idea.


I appreciate your comments -- sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself!